Ask Dr. Mac » Problems with a Manager

Olympics…so what!

Sunday, January 24th, 2010

Hi Dr. Mac,

I am currently working at a hotel in Vancouver, during the olympics, as a server at the restaurant. Two weeks before we got our olympic schedule, I have announced to my boss that I wouldn’t be able to work during the 18th of feb until the 23rd due to a family emergency. He then allows me however asks me to bring in my passport to show him the stamps to prove it. I feel it very weird and unprofessional. Am I wrong? Is he doing something unethical? or something he’s not suppose to be doing? If yes do I talk to our HR about this? -Lisa

Hi Lisa.

I’m guessing that your boss is a little disappointed that you chose to leave during the biggest event in Vancouver in centuries. A sudden emergency is one thing, but a planned time off to handle a family issue shows a little insensitivity to the business and the community. Since you asked in advanced for a series of days off, it appears to be a planned event. When you use the word “emergency” and yet block out days in advance for that emergency, it really does call into question your definition of what an emergency is. It also questions your dedication to the job and you’re ability to see the importance of the historical event of what is going on in Vancouver. Do you see that at all?

Since I am not an attorney, I cannot tell you legally if he has the right to ask for verification of travel documents, however, what I can tell you is that there is a trust issue going on here and that is what’s driving his actions. You certainly can talk with HR confidentially about this, but I think the bigger issue is to re-establish the trust with your boss, especially if you plan to continue working there.

My advice would be to have a heart-to-heart with your boss about both your request for time off and his response. Let him know how you felt about his comments. I would also be prepared to talk about the “family emergency” itself (at least a little) in order to help him understand why it is an “emergency” and why it needs to be addressed “now” instead of after the Olympics.

Lisa, unless this “family emergency” was an unforeseen crisis that just happened (which it doesn’t appear to be since you asked for days off well in advance), you didn’t do yourself any favors by choosing to leave during the Olympics. I want to support you here, but honestly, it would raise a red flag for me as well.

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Micromanaging or just forgetful?

Sunday, January 17th, 2010

Hi Dr. Mac!

In the past couple months, one of the directors has escalated his micromanagement. He’s questioning everything down to the smallest detail three or four times. He’s taken to rewritting all documents. He stops people in halls to give them direction, which is always slightly different than the direction he gave the last guy. My project has stalled for 2 months because he keeps changing scope. He’s driving us nuts and costing the company money. He’s been coached on micromanaging by his direct reports without any change. Yesterday, he repeated direction he had given before as if it was brand new and I had an ah-ha moment. Could this jerk have memory problems and these are all coping mechanisms? How do we deal with that? How do we know for sure? Or would the same tactics for a micromanager work for memory problems? And what would those be? Any suggestions would be appreciated! Sam

Hi Sam,

I’d suggest to initially bring it up more as a concern (i.e., “are you doing okay?”) and see how he responds. Point out your observation about his recent need to repeat information to you and ask if he’s doing that on purpose to maybe drive home a point or if he simply doesn’t realize he’s doing that. Let him know how it’s making you feel and ask him if there is anything you can do to reassure him that you are on top of things.

What you want to do is see how he responds to the feedback (angry, surprised, apologetic, or defensive). This should give you some information about what’s going on and his level of awareness around this. Should it continues, then you may have to escalate the issue with a more stern and direct discussion with him. But let’s hold off on going there for now and hope your subtle approach works.

Keep me updated.

-Dr. Mac

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Slander by employer

Saturday, January 9th, 2010

Doc,

My boss has been sharing my personal and confidential info with patrons in the restaurant he owns. I’ve been dealing with depression due to the death of my husband, and its gotten worse since he began his attack on me. He is telling people I’m committing myself to a psych unit because I have mental issues when in fact its depression. He has been making false statements to them accusing me of being a bad employee, a bad parent, and using drugs in his restaurant, all of which are untrue. He also has said he is doing this to make me quit because he does’nt want to fire me and have to pay unemployment benefits. What are my rights? -Sara

Hi Sara.

Truthfully, your questions are best answered by an employment law attorney. If you don’t know of an attorney, there are sites like allexperts.com that offer legal advice.

What I can tell you is that you need to do the following in the meantime:

1. Directly tell your boss to stop sharing any personal and / or confidential information about you immediately.

2. You will need proof, or at the very least, documentation, of what comments were made and when. Hopefully you’ve written these down. If not, can you may want to write down what you can remember.

3. Are there any witnesses who heard any of these comments? If so, would they be willing to come forward with that information if needed?

4. Are you the only employee being talked about or are there others that your boss is inappropriately gossiping about? Are you the only female working at the restaurant…in other words, are you being picked on because you are a woman or possibly because you are in another protected class?

Sara, while you look into your options further, be sure to be professional at work and don’t give your boss or anyone else any reason to point out that you are part of the problem. In other words, don’t give them anything that they can use against you, should this come to some kind of legal hearing.

It is unfortunate that your boss is demonstrating these kind of behaviors. Is your boss the owner of the restaurant? If not, you can also request a meeting with the owner and share your concerns and possible actions you may take? Why not, what do you have to lose?

Also, any attorney will want to know if you took all the possible actions you could to stop this behavior. In other words, was the inappropriate behavior addressed with your boss, either by you or the owner?

Either way, let me know what you end up doing. I wish I could have helped more but legal questions are best answered by legal experts.

-Dr. Mac

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They don’t know how to manage!

Sunday, January 3rd, 2010

Hello Dr. Mac,

I need your help and I need it fast. Let me explain the situation.

I’m a college student who works part-time for a governmental centre for young people. We’re a small team of 14 people, plus the Team Leader.

A couple of months ago, the Team Leader was promoted to an interim higher position, and therefore needed a new Team Leader. Before leaving, he appointed the 2 full-time “project managers” having the most experience to each assume the Team Leader role for a month at a time each. To this day, one of them was team leader for 2 months, and the other one is up for a 3rd month.

Let me tell you there is no comparison between the real Team Leader we initially had and the new interim team leaders.

Most of my coworkers and I are not agreeing with most of their actions and ways of doing things. Given they are always in the office, we have too much supervision and we get picked on way too often. Sometimes, what they come up with is absolutely ridiculous.

Our initial Team Leader is in touch with our current interim team leaders every week, but he has no idea of what exactly is going on because all he gets is their feedback, not ours.

We are no longer satisfied with our jobs. And we want to do something about it! Yet we do not know what to do. Can you help?

-Abigail

Hi Abigail.

Once a full-time replacement is hired for the Team Leader position, your problem should resolve itself, assuming it is not one of these two clowns, right?

With that said, I see three options:

1) As a group, ask for a staff meeting to talk about creating a win-win working relationship between the acting team leaders and the front-line employees. At that meeting, discuss what you, the front-line employees, need “more of” from the team leaders in order to do your job better. By focusing on the “more of” you keep the conversation on the constructive side as opposed to complaining about what’s “not working.” Why does this matter? Because if you want these pseudo-team leaders to listen and to want to make improvements, you cannot come at them with criticism. That would only force their hand to squish you even more. In return, ask the team leaders what they need “more of” from you (the front-liners) and agree to do just that.

2) You could get word to the former Team Leader that a revolt is about to happen and ask him/her to intervene. This would lead to a meeting described in #1 above. But it would get everyone’s attention. The disadvantage with this option is it is a power play on your end, since you are calling in the big cheese. Your team leaders may not trust you for a while after the intervention ends. Maybe that doesn’t matter.

3) Do nothing and wait it out. The disadvantage is you won’t know how long to wait it out and one of these acting team leads could end up becoming the team leader. Yikes. Then, you’ll already have established a dysfunctional work pattern with this person. Not good.

Abigail, I’d go with #1 above. If you don’t feel safe with the two team leaders, then go to #2.

There are also people like me who come into organizations to help facilitate my first suggestion. We are viewed as neutral, making it easier to trust. I guess that’s another option.

Hope this helped a little.

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Problem with boss & coworkers

Thursday, January 29th, 2009

I’m the supervisor of 3 individuals who play on the Internet about 90% of the time and the company suffers as a result! I work in a financial company (stocks etc…) where mistakes are and have been costly to the clients. I have to correct 10-20 of their mistakes daily, which takes me away from my work, not to mention that I get yelled at each time a mistake is “costly.” My boss will not do anything to the women who keep going on the Internet. The only reason why my boss hasn’t fired them is because he stated “he didn’t want to go through the process of interviewing people again.” I simply can’t understand why people who show lack of interest for the business, consistently tardy and has no respect for my boss, or the business is still working at this place. I can’t understand why my boss is blind to all of this. I’m pretty sure a few new faces would improve the morale and the business. Any advice would be appreciated as I feel that I’m being taken advantage of by all. I await your response.
-Michelle

Hi Michelle.

Tough situation.

Let me ask a couple of questions first. If you are the supervisor of the three women, then why can’t you discipline them yourself? Are you the one who gives them their performance reviews? And would you be the one to head up the interview process if one of them left? My guess is that you are writing because you do not have the authority to write up or discipline the people you supervise. Am I correct?

As I see it, you have a few choices here.

You could do nothing and watch your stress level continue to rise. Probably not a good option.

You could ask if you and your boss could meet with these women individually in order to talk about your concerns (and hopefully his as well#. I like this option because you both are involved together in addressing this problem and it would not be a real stretch for your boss to participate.

You could go to HR to seek some advice on how to manage up in regards to your boss, since he is as much, if not more of the problem. HR could also suggest some ways to diplomatically address the Internet usage as well.

Another option is to tell your boss that you’d like the both of you to meet with his boss in order to discuss how best to deal with the problem. This shows respect #you are not secretly going above his head# and you are diplomatically saying that is both of your problems #instead of signaling him out). It will also show that you mean business.

The last option is to seek employment elsewhere.

Michelle, the bigger problem for you is finding support within the organization to address the inappropriate use of the Internet. Once you have that, the actual “addressing” the problem will be a lot easier. However, if you cannot get support to move forward on this, your hands will continue to be tied, leaving you with minimal options.

I personally like the second and fourth option as your first choices. Going to HR would be the back-up choice, followed by leaving the company.

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On-call position getting no work

Tuesday, January 27th, 2009

I was hired in September as a “per diem” (or on call) position in a hospital. The supervisor who hired me was brand new. It was their first job as a supervisor (a promotion) and had only had the position two months. My position is a union position, even as a per diem. So rules have to be followed. I was told in no uncertain terms that as a per diem I would be the first called when anyone in the department was out for any reason. Thus I would be getting alot of work. In fact, while I was training, one co-worker said to me, “gosh, you can work 40 hours a week around here if you want”.

Things went well for a while and I was working a lot. Then the supervisor sent out an email to all saying that per diem would only be used “as needed” and no longer would be called in simply to help because the department was cutting back. I contacted human resources and the union and found out the truth is that per diems don’t get first crack at absences when there is one. Instead, the part timers in the department get first crack and if after that no one can fill the vacancy, a per diem is called. So the person who hired me had it all wrong. ALL WRONG.

I am gathering this person found out but they never came to me and explained. Instead I haven’t worked in a month now. I was depending on that income and took the job believing I would be doing all the filling in. I never to this date have said anything to the supervisor because I am sure they know the truth now.

After 6 months I am eligible to apply for jobs in other departments in the hospital and as stated have been there since Sept. I am seething inside and wonder if I should say anything to the supervisor about the very damaging misinformation that was provided me upon being hired. But what would I say? Thank you, Todd

Hi Todd. Thanks for your note.

What jumps off the page to me is your avoidance of talking to your supervisor about this issue. You could have saved yourself a lot of stress had you done this when you first became concerned. Now, you’ve built this up so much that just the thought of talking to him/her on this issue drums up major anxiety for you. In the future, you are much better off addressing an “issue” you are having with your supervisor (or anyone else for that matter) at the beginning instead of waiting until it becomes a big deal. This is not unusual for conflict avoiders, but also not healthy. I only mention this because you also have a responsibility for your relationship with your supervisor and that includes bringing up concerns to them.

Based on what I’ve just said, you probably can guess that I believe you should talk with your supervisor about all of this, and as soon as possible. After all, you are the one carrying around the stress from this, not him or her.

The best way to do this is to ask to meet with him/her (step 1). Then begin by reinforcing the fact that you enjoy being part of this team and that you want to work as much as you possibly can in your role as a per diem. The key here is to begin the conversation on a positive note. Then get into the “issue” by phrasing it in the following manner: “I’m a bit confused over the role of a per diem employee and I was hoping to get a better understanding.” By phrasing the concern as a question instead of an attack or a complaint, you demonstrate a willingness to collaborate.

After you have raised the question, tell your supervisor that your understanding from him/her when you were hired was that your role was to be a first-call back-up and that now it appears that you’ve become a last-call back-up. Ask him/her if things have changed or if maybe you misunderstood the role of the per diem. I mention this because your supervisor may not believe that he/she did in fact lead you on during the interview. Hence, don’t assume that your perception of what was said is their perception as well.

If you think about it, the purpose of this conversation is to reiterate your interest in working more; letting your supervisor know that you are a team player and will jump in to help at any time; and to clear up any misunderstandings about the role of the per diem.

What you don’t want to do is argue, complain, or accuse your supervisor of anything, unless you want to turn this into a fight and can back up your assertions with factual information. My guess is that you don’t have a job description in writing to show what you believe you were promised at the beginning. Am I right? If you do, then you would want to bring this to the attention of your union rep. and seek out their council. You probably want to do this anyway.

Todd, it is unfortunate that your new supervisor may have misspoken. With that said, you also had the responsibility to bring this discrepancy up at the very beginning. By not doing that, you have made this harder than it needs to be. Have the conversation and see where things stand after that. It is difficult to speculate and stategize until that happens. -Dr. Mac

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Bullying in the workplace

Sunday, January 25th, 2009

Hello, my name is Heather and i was wondering how to handle a situation at my work. I have only been there 2 months, and I have been bullied by a certain coworker since.

I have been yelled at by her and my manager for not taking down an appointment right; come to find out I had nothing to do with the situation but still got blamed for it…I seem to be the fall guy at this place because I’m new. When I ask my manager to take care of these problems, I’m told to deal with it myself. My husband just got laid off and I cant quit until I find a new job. I come home in tears almost every night, and I’m in tears because they call me on my days off, yelling at me. I don’t know what to do; I have never been in this situation before.

Hi Heather.

Thanks for writing. Let me begin by saying that minimizing, avoiding or ignoring bullying behavior doesn’t stop bullies. This is according to expert, Ben Leichtling, Ph.D.

I’m going to use some excerpts from Ben’s book, “How to Stop Bullies in Their Tracks.”

“In this situation, you have three strategies that can be successful:
1. Stay and bear it.
2. Negotiate or fight.
3. Create distance.

Strategy #1 (stay and bear it) is often chosen when we’re really helpless, like when we’re children waiting to grow up so we can leave home and be self-sufficient. It’s also chosen when we decide to take care of someone who’s sick, disabled, senile or dying. Or we decide to stay at a job a little while until retirement. But, of course, there are limits to what we’ll accept.

Strategy #2 (negotiate or fight) is often chosen when there’s a lot at stake. For example, between parents and children, or in a long-term intimate relationship or partnership. But that’s an appropriate choice only when you have clear timelines, specific measures of progress and hope. You must also have clear and firm limits so the price of putting up with bullying isn’t too high. Often, this strategy allows you to say to yourself that you’ve given the bully many last chances before moving to strategy #3.

Strategy #3 (create distance) means that the bullies must leave or you go. This strategy is used when you’ve tried strategy #2 for a long time but there’s still too much bullying. You’re finally ready to move on.” (Leichtling,2007)

In your case, it sounds like strategy #2 is in order; negotiating calmly, reasonable, and firmly. Let your boss and coworker’s behavior, not their words, show you how clear and firm you have to be. Let’s use your coworker as an example. You might say something like this (in private, of course):

“Bob, I appreciate your passion and sense of urgency around what you do and what I do at work. What doesn’t work as well is when you raise your voice at me while pointing out a perceived mistake or request. That feels disrespectful to me and it needs to stop. What I need from now on if for you to stay calm and keep your voice down when you need something or you want to point something out. That way I’ll hear what you are saying and we can collaborate more effectively. Is that something you are willing to do?”

The key here is to let them know that their bullying behavior is unacceptable. It is also important to redirect them to what would work in working with you. This way you are helping them learn how to better collaborate with you.

I would suggest the same approach with your boss as well.

Hopefully, your assertiveness will help reform these abusive relationships. If not, you may either need to move on or escalate this even further to HR and/or the CEO. Personally, I’d say take it to the next level if the bullying continues. But let’s hope that won’t be needed. Let me know what happens and we can look at additional options if needed.

Hope that helps.

-Dr. Mac

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New Management Weirdness
Tuesday, January 20th, 2009

Good evening.

I work for a custom home builder and have recently found myself in some strange interpersonal conflicts at work.

I am a Project Engineer which is a position that typically reports to a Project Manager. The Project Manager is essentially at the same experience level as myself. He has been given the title by the Owner of the Company and the active Managing Partner (both of whom are closely involved in the project).

Recently I’ve heard some strange criticisms (second hand) that the Project Manager was telling other people about the quality of my work. I really have issues when a more “senior” employee criticizes my work behind my back to other co-workers rather than directly to me. I have no issues with the Managing Partner or Owner of the company, and received a nice bonus at the end of year in 2008. I like working hard, and doing a quality job with my work, but it frustrates me when my final product is picked apart because of petty issues. I’ve also noticed that he is a serious micro-manager, shoes me away when any higher-ups are at meetings (I should be involved in), and generally uses me as a scape goat whenever he is unable to answer a question…because I didn’t track down the information before hand and spoon feed it to him.

Generally, I’ve been going about my business as if there are no issues, but I have a feeling that I’m going to lose it one day. Do you have any ideas how to confront him with this issue, but not throw gas on the fire?

-Jerry

Hi Jerry and thanks for writing.

You raised a number of issues and concerns about the project manager. I think you are right when you say that if you don’t talk to him soon about these things that you could lose it and say or do something you might regret.

My suggestion would be to first identify your top three issues that you are having with him. Then, identify the behaviors that are problematic for you around those issues (i.e., talking about you to others). And finally, identify the preferred behaviors you would want from him in those circumstances (i.e., come to you directly with any concerns). This is important. The idea is not to make him wrong but instead to ask for what you need. People are much more receptive to changing behavior if it is presented as a positive and made in a request.

For example, let’s take the “talking behind your back” issue. Instead of saying, “I’m told that you have been criticizing me behind my back and it needs to stop”, say, “You’re feedback on my work is very important to me and I want to make sure that you feel comfortable to come to me directly with any and all of your input. Is that something I can count on you for?”

Jerry, it is an “unmet need” (direct communication in this previous example) that fosters frustration around a particular issue. You can argue the issue but the truth is that until you meet the need that is not being met, you will not reach true resolution. Hence, if your need is direct communication, then ask for it. Going behind your back is “how” he is communicating indirectly with you. That is actually secondary to your need for direct communication.

Does this make sense? The bottom line is that “how” you approach him will greatly impact the chances for a successful conversation. Remember, this is not about making him wrong; it is about getting your needs in the workplace met.

Write back if you’d like any more clarification.

-Dr. Mac

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Peer participation during reviews

Monday, January 19th, 2009

Hello, I am a professional with extensive management experience and just moved to a small town taken a part time job. Our entire group just received a memo from our manager that effective immediately all interactions with him reviews/warnings/management disciplinary actions/employee resistance to change issues will take place in his office with a coworker or peer of our choice present OR he will assign one to be present.

All the workers are surprised by this and the organization is in a small rural town where gossip travels fast..He is compromising our privacy issues ? Can he legally do this? Do we have any recourse? we would prefer another mgr or the owner to be present..not a coworker. We are to sign the memo and date it and return it tomorrow.

Carey

Hi Carey.

From what I can tell from your message, your manager is saying that there needs to be a third party present in the room for interactions with him that involve reviews, warnings, disciplinary action and the like. That is not only a good idea for him and the company, but for the employees as well. It helps prevent misunderstandings and miscommunication in delicate conversations, such as the areas he outlined.

I believe you are reacting to two things.

First, the blunt way he introduced this mandate. I would agree that there is a much more professional and diplomatic way to introduce this concept. Although it was unfortunate how he communicated this, the silver lining is in the third party message that he did deliver. Based on what little I know about him, I’d say it is a very good thing to have a third party in the room when being confronted by him.

The second thing I believe you are reacting to is his request that a peer or coworker be present. The purpose of a third party is to ensure that there is accountability for what happens behind the closed doors. If, for example, you were the one being disciplined and you felt your manager was threatening you in the meeting, the third party would play a critical role in either confirming that assertion or denying it, based on their perception. Hence, I wouldn’t be so quick to refute the idea of having a peer in the room. Wouldn’t you want someone who understands the situation from your perspective in the room; someone who knows what’s going on in the department?

I also understand your concern that a peer might be inclined to gossip outside the office about what happens in one of these “special” meetings. All you can do is make sure that there are explicit ground rules outlined in the beginning of the meeting that cover “confidentiality” concerns. You may even have your HR department create a consent form for all parties to sign demonstrating their commitment to these confidentiality agreements.

Getting back to the third-party idea, from a legal standpoint, it is a good idea. It protects everyone. I’m guessing “who” the third party is can be negotiated separately at the time of the meeting. Typically, the third party is someone from HR (seen as somewhat neutral). Do you have an HR person at the company or an HR department? Regardless, from a legal perspective, a coworkers opinion of what happened in a meeting is just as significant as another manager’s opinion.

My suggestion before signing the letter would be to ask your manager if the department could first discuss this at a staff meeting to better understand what’s going on and why this mandate has been presented. If he agrees, then you can get all your questions out at that time. If he does not agree with a meeting, then ask if HR and/or another manager could also be used as a third party, since that may be more appropriate for some situations. Hopefully he’ll see the logic in this (since this is more about the “third party” concept than about who the third party is) and then you can add that notation to the agreement (with your initial by it) before turning it in. If he refuses to discuss any alterations or provide any explanation, then sign it and put a footnote at the bottom that you are in favor of a third party concept but believe that the selection of the third party participant should not be solely limited to a peer or coworker. Now you will have covered all bases.

Try talking directly to him (something he needed to do all along) first before anything else. Just because he can’t communicate doesn’t mean you can’t either.

-Dr. Mac

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Peer review out of the blue

Sunday, January 11th, 2009

At the beginning of this month, my manager asked my team to complete a peer review. We have to write strengths of each member on the team and areas where we thought they needed improvement. S/he only asked for input on the two team members that work in the US. Since the person on loan from the other department is new and I don’t know him/her, there was not much to say from my point of view. As for the associate level team member, I added that an area of improvement would be to speak up more during meetings.

When it came to getting my results, the areas that need improvement was two pages long. Out of the 14 items listed that needed improvement, I am pretty certain only one came from the employee that is on loan from the other department. The rest were provided from the associate level employee.

(All eleven items were listed in the original document)

As you can see, the issues listed in my peer review have been perplesing me for two weeks. Normally, I would just shrug it off and not pay attention to a lot of the dribble mentioned above. But, only the local team did the peer review. It was not a company-wide thing we had to do. It is not a regularly scheduled thing. No one else in the other departments had ever done one. So, it makes me wonder why did we have to do one. Obviously, my team is not really liking me.

Why did my manager not consider how I would deal with or react to this petty crap from two people that have no idea how to do their job, let alone mine. Did s/he think that given this realization that I would actually want to help these two team mates in the future? Why would I ever ask if either one of them needs help in the future? At this point, nothing would please me more than if they were working somewhere else and letting them fail, as opposed to helping them, would be one of the quickest ways to do that…right? I could have list all kind of petty crap on their reviews. Like when one comes in from a smoke break, I have to breath through my mouth to not smell the extremely strong smell of smoke that makes me gag. And when his/her friends come to “visit” and all the talk about is what clubs they are going to that night, which ones they went to last night and how drunk they got and will get. This is extremely unprofessional. I did not bring it up on his/her review because I thought it had nothing to do with his/her work performance. Why write it in a peer review?

So, how do I get passed this feeling? It’s not good to not want to help a co-worker and it is not something I believe in. I totally understand this person is young (20s), inexperienced and totally inmmature. But that understanding does nothing for me. Before the peer reivew results were given to me, I thought it would be great to take this person “under my wing” and mentor him/her. Now, I hope for his/her failure.

-BK

Hello BK.

There are a few issues here. First is this whole peer review process; second is the communication void between you and the associate; and third is the particular concerns that were raised about your work performance.

What I don’t know from you letter is your position in the company. I also don’t know what your manager’s intentions are around this peer review. Is he/she planning on getting people together to discuss it? Is he/she planning on meeting individually with each of you to go over your feedback? If there is process that is going to take place around this, then you’ll have a chance to address each of the concerns that have been raised about you.

Here is what jumps off the page for me:

First, this peer review was an inappropriate mechanism to use for this purpose. If you manager has feedback for you, he/she has the responsibility to give it to you directly, and avoid back alley approaches such as this. If you coworker has feedback for you, then he/she either tells you directly or initiates a conversation with you and the manager together. Your office is too small for a peer review, let alone mature enough to handle one. I’d also be very surprised if your HR department has authorized this lame approach. They should know better.

Second, despite the inappropriateness of the peer review, it clearly points out that you and the associate have some major issues that need to be cleared up. Because I believe that your manager is hiding behind this process, he/she most likely has some concerns about your work performance as well. With that in mind, you need to do something here. Most of the issues that were raised were rather specific. That tells me that there has been some thought put into these. And, the fact that there are so many issues tells me that you’ve got some work to do on how you perform in the workplace. This isn’t just about “them”.

Third, sit down with your manager and go through each feedback point. Then ask for the associate to join you and have a three-way conversation about not only the identified issues but about the issues you chose not to put in your peer review about the associate. Also talk about how to clear up communication channels between the two of you so that you work together instead of against each other. Lastly, reiterate to your manager the need to address concerns with you directly instead of using a peer review process to communicate these concerns.

I might also suggest you touch base with HR to get some council about this whole thing. You may even want an HR rep to sit in with you and your associate when you have you talk about specific issues as a group. You could also request for HR to bring in an outsider who does this kind of thing for a living (the name Dr. Mac comes to mind). Either way, use this peer review as an opportunity to have the conversations you clearly have needed to have for some time now. It can only help to get this stuff out on the table.

One more thing. AJ, you need to change some things in terms of how you communicate and interact around the office. You are not being a team player either in all of this. Hence, be prepared to listen to suggestions and be willing to change for the good of the group.

-Dr. Mac

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Olympics…so what!

Micromanaging or just forgetful?

Slander by employer

They don’t know how to manage!

Problem with boss & coworkers

On-call position getting no work

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New Management Weirdness

Peer participation during reviews

Peer review out of the blue

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