| | |
|
Archive for the ‘Problem with a peer’ Category
Wednesday, October 1st, 2008
Hi Dr. Mac,
I have recently started a new job, and am working with a particularly venomous girl. I’m new at what I do, and she is much more experienced, so I need a healthy relationship with her. Unfortunately, she is also having an affair with my (married) boss. She goes out of her way to humiliate me in front of him and others, and although I keep the rictus smile fixed, she is getting very tiresome. Your help would be appreciated.
-Charlie
Hi Charlie.
I enjoyed your use of vocabulary. Impressive. Regarding your situation, you may only need a short-term fix since your co-worker is treading on very dangerous ground by dating your boss. My guess is that others in the office have a problem with that as well. Rarely do I see those type of situations play out well in the long run.
Your first responsibility in this situation is to your relationship with the co-worker in question. By that I mean that you have an obligation to address your concerns with her directly. This would let her know that you will assert yourself if need be and hold her accountable for her part in your working relationship. You also don’t want to lower yourself to her level of communication. In other words, don’t give her any material that she can use against you with you-know-who. I think you can be very innocent and subtle in your approach. Something as simple as, “Is there something I’m doing that is bothering you?” can do wonders and it is easy to say. A question like this opens the door and, instead of an attack, it put the onus on her to give you feedback. Keep in mind that there might in fact be something you are doing that is sparking the dynamics. If that is the case, listen to the feedback and merely thank her for it (since you asked). Then you can consider later if it is feedback that your can agree with or not.
Addressing the dynamics between the two of you is the most effective approach for the reasons already stated above. If you don’t do that, you pretty much reinforce the current dynamics because saying nothing is essentially an endorsement of the status quo. That’s my two cents for now. You are the new guy so tread lightly.
-Dr. Mac
Posted in Problem with a peer | Post a Question | No Comments »
Wednesday, October 1st, 2008
Dear Dr. Mac,
I am having problem with one co-worker (person A) in my office. I don’t know how to deal with this issue. In our accounting dept we are a group of 4, one being the supervisor, who told me that in his absence the supervisor of the team will be my co-worker (Person A). “ONLY IN HIS ABSENCE”
I am handling AP/AR. Whenever someone wants to make a check like COD check; the person who wants the check goes to my co-worker (person A) for help. My co-worker (person A) who also works for accounting department, comes and tells me “here, can you please make a check for this company right away, it is a COD (cost on delivery).” I then put all my current work aside and start making the check. The problem is she gives me much of the work she doesn’t want to do, even though she is supposed to be doing it. And it is only me she goes to, not anyone else. Is this because I’m the new person? How do I deal with this issue, should I directly go and talk to Person A and bluntly tell her I am sorry I cannot help her because I am busy doing some thing else? (which I really do not have the guts because I need a job, and have bills to pay) How do I put in a professional way? -Please help
Dear Please Help,
In any newly formed working relationship, there is bound to be some role confusion going on. Consider this to be an opportunity to clarify roles and responsibilities instead of thinking anything bad about having to do this. In a perfect world, your supervisor would have spelled out all the roles and responsibilities right about the time you came in. Usually for new employees, that is a very common thing to do. Given that, it is never too late.
Allow me to first answer your questions, although I may be speculating a bit.
First, I don’t know why it appears you are being “dumped” on. It is best in this case to find out before assuming anything.
Second, if the tables were reversed, would you want your co-worker to come to you first or go to the supervisor? I’m guessing that you’d appreciate having the opportunity to clear something up yourself before someone goes to the supervisor. By going to the supervisor, you would be bypassing your colleague and getting into that “parent-child” dynamic where the kids go to the parents to solve a problem with a sibling instead of trying to solve it first themselves. Hence, you will want to try to address/resolve the problem or misunderstanding yourself with the co-worker in question. It is also the most respectful thing you could do and it demonstrates that you will stand up for yourself and assert yourself if need be. Both good messages to send.
Third, you are better off clearing up the issue of “delegation” in general with your co-worker now instead of waiting for the next incident to occur and then saying something. The danger in waiting is that your emotions could peak and you might say something that you could regret or say it in a way that you might regret.
Finally, go into the conversation with the intent of understanding her intent first before responding. The way to do that is to explain what has been happening, using a real example, and then asking her rationale for why she is passing these requests on to you. After she explains herself, acknowledge what she said and ask if you can suggest another way to handle these. Give your suggestion and explain why it would be helpful to you to do it this way. If that doesn’t lead to an agreement and better understanding, let her know that you’d like to also get the input of the supervisor on this issue. Only do that if it still doesn’t get resolved. Most of the time these kind of discussions are not unusual and quickly lead to mutual resolution.
What we have not answered is your comment about you co-worker being in charge “only in his absence.” Truthfully, if you resolve this and future issues as I indicated, you should not have a problem with your co-worker assuming too much responsibility over you. That will be because you have let it be know through this process that you will stand up for yourself. The key is to always be respectful and diplomatic, no matter what.
-Dr. Mac
Posted in Problem with a peer | Post a Question | No Comments »
Wednesday, October 1st, 2008
Hello, I am currently working as an Accountant. We are a team of 4 members one is a supervisor. I just started to work 2 weeks ago for this company. When i joined, I learned that nothing was organized, for e.g. there was no filing system. Everything was kept in wrong places. As a result, I made some changes in order to keep things organized. I created files for each vendor and filed away all unpaid and paid bills. All the old paid and unpaid invoices were filed away. All my group members liked the idea.
The problem is that now all the members of my group give me everything for filing, (even newer invoices that are paid). Since we all are working in Accounting, don’t you think that it is everybody’s duty to keep things in a proper place? They come and tell me “here this is for filing”, etc. Again, I have no problems doing the work, but I don’t want to be a door mat.
How do I deal with this situation? I don’t know how to tell them “that the filing cabinet is right behinds us, get up and go file it for yourself.” My supervisor tells me we have to work as a team. Please help.
-Puja
Puja,
Clearly your colleagues are not big on filing, otherwise they would have been filing everything well before you arrived. And your supervisor must not be a stickler for filing either since he’s let it go as well. Now you come along and start filing. Who wouldn’t like that?
You’ve demonstrated that you like an organized office and are willing to see to it that it stays that way. It’s no wonder that your colleagues are giving you their filing. They are probably assuming that you don’t mind doing it.
My suggestion would be to do one of two things:
1) At your next staff meeting, bring this up to the whole group. Let them know that you are happy to help out in any way you can, including filing, but that you don’t have the time to take on everyone’s filing and would greatly appreciate it if they wouldn’t mind filing their own files from now on. Or,
2) Bring this situation up to your supervisor, telling him that you’d like his advice on how to best handle this issue. Remember, asking for advice is much different than complaining. It infers that you want to be part of the solution. Supervisors like that.
Puja, since your supervisor is a fan of team work, you shouldn’t have much problem in getting support, regardless which option you choose.
-Dr. Mac
Posted in Problem with a peer | Post a Question | No Comments »
Thursday, September 25th, 2008
Dear Dr. Mac,
I am a teacher with over 10 years experience with a graduate degree and several certifications. I decided to teach in a very small,rural and poor district. Felt I needed something more personal and possibly where I felt I could do more than just teach. Here is the problem, A teacher on the team is a direct conduit to the principal. She is not a “cooperative team member” but myself and others are afraid to complain. She was the aid/student teacher for the past principal/new superintendent and seems to have assigned herself the role of “team boss” and makes decisions that should be presented to the team of teachers for decision making. She is misrepresenting conversations and statements during team meeting to the principal and he in turn addresses this info as true and will address/reprimand the team or individual. How can I avoid this teacher since she seems to make it her business to snoop and report everything to the principal?
Thanks, Thinking of another career.
Dear Thinking of Another Career:
The good news is that it is early enough in this situation to address it (directly or indirectly) before any long-term patterns have emerged. Let’s look at your possible options (in no particular order):
1. You could decide you’ve had enough and leave. (But why would you do this. You’re good at what you do and this is just another challenge).
2. You could do nothing and continuously watch your back. (Again, not a good option since the stress will only build, causing you to possibly blow up at some point).
3. You could go as a group to the principal to raise these concerns. (It would be harder for any retaliation to occur since the whole group approached him). I often get called in at this point to find out what’s going on.
4. You could go by yourself to the principal merely for the purpose of getting clarification on this particular teacher’s role. You’d do this in a very supporting way with pure positive intentions. I have found that the boss (principal in this case) often has no idea of the dynamics that are occurring. That is why a subtle, innocent approach is often the best way to begin.
5. You could talk to the teacher in question informally (over coffee) to see how she’s doing and how she likes her job, etc. Then, ask if you can offer a suggestion as a veteran fellow teacher. Of course that suggestion would be for her to remember to collaborate with all the teachers on anything that involves or impacts the group of teacher. Let her know in a supporting way that it is important for the teachers to stick together, support each other and to have each other’s back at all times. Make sure she knows that you have her back as well. (Truthfully, it is very appropriate for a veteran teacher to mentor the newbee.
6. Lastly, consider doing a half-day or full-day teambuilding as a group, including with the principal, where you can all have fun together while talking about your strengths and growth areas as a unit. As an outside facilitator, it is very easy to get the group talking about the inner-dynamics, especially after doing some fun activities together. I could go on but you get the idea. Now you just have to pick which option works best for you and the group.
-Dr. Mac
Posted in Problem with a peer | Post a Question | No Comments »
Thursday, September 25th, 2008
Hi Dr. Mac.
My previous coworker died suddenly and a new girl was hired in which I am responsible to train her. We work in the same room (only two of us). The first week we got into a shouting match when I tried to tell her how to do something (I did apologize). Whenever I try to point out that she did something wrong or how it should be done, she just flys off the handle and starts screaming accusing me of talking to her a certain way or that I’m not perfect either. I have trained many of girls and never had this type of reaction, that I can’t ever try and tell her what she does wrong. I went to my boss the first week and several other times, but she just smiles at me and say it will get better. Do I just ignore her unless she ask me a question and what do I do if I need to address a mistake she’s made. Help!
-Kathy
Hi Kathy.
It certainly is tough when you are trying to help a coworker and they are not receptive to your help. In this case, maybe even a little defensive.
Suggestions: You need to assess if her behavior is negatively impacting your ability to get your job done. I mention this because if her behavior is just annoying but doesn’t really impact your work, then you will want to think carefully about how much time and energy you want to spend on something that ultimately doesn’t impact your productivity. Typically, difficult people are usually “difficult” with many different people and their behavioral problems usually catch up with them from a multiple of sources, including both the external and internal customers, not to mention even your supervisor. If, on the other hand, her behavior does indeed impede your ability to get your work done, then by all means, keep reading.
It is critical for you to talk with her directly about your concerns. I’m guessing that she probably has some concerns about you as well, and having the opportunity to share them with you might also help here. The time and place is important for this conversation. You also want to go into it with a willingness to talk, to listen, and to work through whatever needs to be addressed, even if some of it is about you. I might also suggest asking her to go for a cup of coffee outside your office space instead of talking in your office. Sometimes a fresh location on neutral turf sets a more collaborative stage. If you can’t do that, then at least make sure to visit her in her part of the office instead of talk behind your desk, in your space. We don’t want any powerplays here.
Confronting your coworker doesn’t have to be a difficult experience. Sit down with her, one-to-one, and tell her what’s going on with you, making sure you cover the following points:
1) Begin by acknowledge the importance of having an effective working relationship with her. 2) Tell her that the purpose of your conversation is to share a concern that she may not be aware of.
3) Describe the particular behavior that is causing a problem for you.
4) Explain how the behavior is impacting your ability to get your work done.
5) Ask her if there is something you are doing that is triggering such a response.
6) Let her share her perspective.
7) Paraphrase what she said so she knows you care and that you are listening.
 Share with her what you prefer she do differently in responding to you and tell her how that would help you in working with her.
9) Ask what you could do differently in working with her so that she could also work better with you.
10) Agree to work on the suggestions you were each given and thank her for her willingness to collaborate with you.
It’s important to remember when confronting a coworker that the key is not to make them wrong. The key is to ask for what you need and to give them the same opportunity with you. Always remember to keep the focus on the working relationship. Personal attacks don’t belong here. Finally, be respectful and polite and treat coworkers the same way you’d like to be treated. If this doesn’t work, then tell your co-worker that you’d like a mediated session together with your supervisor (or outside facilitator). Hopefully it will not get to this. Hope this helps a little.
-Dr. Mac
Posted in Problem with a peer | Post a Question | No Comments »
Tuesday, September 16th, 2008
Dear Dr. Mac,
I have recently become accidentally aware of my co-worker conspiring with my boss against another employee (lets call her Jane). Jane and I have worked tirelessly to bring about an excellent academic and well respected program at the cost of our health and overtime (I work at a university). For over 3 years now, we have been saying to our superior (lets call him Jim) that we are not sustainable and we are not receiving the support we need to continue. Eventually, Jane decided to move on and leave for another job as she could not continue anymore. With her end date coming up close, the oldest co-worker in our department (lets call her Holly) has been bullying Jane. For the past 3 years Holly did not want to have anything to do with our program but now that she sees it is successful and could become one additional success story to put on her CV she is trying to get as much information from Jane in a very unprofessional and commanding manner (often exhibiting adversarial behavior and physical violence by slamming objects or her hands into the table) to prove her point and that we should listen to her as she was correct. As you may imagine the environment in my department has become somewhat toxic. That message I have come across was a printed email message to my boss Jim from Holly in which they have both been slandering and badmouthing Jane and other co-workers. Of course I have made Jane aware of it, but now I am not sure if I can/should expose their secret agenda and how they behaved. I feel this is the right thing to do, but I am well aware I can lose my job too at some point in time. Your help is greatly appreciated.
-Patryk
Hi Patryk and thanks for your question.
I have worked in higher education myself as both an administrator and as a faculty member and can relate to the troubled situation you present. I see a couple of options here. You certainly could confront Jim in a private meeting (maybe offsite somewhere in a comfortable setting-i.e. coffee shop), revealing that you saw the email and have been troubled by it, along with Holly’s behavior, for some time. Let him know that you intent is to see if you can work this out together, but that things need to change and for the better. My hope is that since he essentially got caught with his hand in the cookie jar (you seeing the email), he will have an invested interest in correcting the problem.
The second option would be for you (and Jane if possible) to have a confidential meeting with Jim’s superior for the purpose of seeking guidance and advice on handling the situation. I wouldn’t suggest getting too specific or showing the email at this point, but merely seeking tutelage on how to best address the problem with Jim. Because Jim is the supervisor, it will be important to get him turned around and/or part of the solution as quickly as possible. Holly can be next but without Jim’s support, Holly may not see the importance of altering her behavior for you or the program. The key with the second option is not to expect Jim’s superior to address the situation. The key is to make him/her aware of it but to still take responsibility yourself in addressing the issue. You have an obligation to always take a concern about Jim to Jim first. That is why you are only seeking advice at this point from Jim’s superior.
Now, if Jim is non-receptive or unwilling to address your concern, then you need to let him know that you feel you need to escalate your concern to Jim’s superior. Make sure he hears you say that. You want to be up front about what you intend to do. And because you have already shared your concerns with Jim’s superior, you already have covered all your bases. My guess is that Jim won’t let it get to this point since it would not benefit him in any way.
I suggest going with the first option and talking directly to Jim in a private setting. If, for whatever reason, you don’t feel comfortable or safe in doing that, then go to the second option. Since Jane is leaving, make sure that you address your concerns about working with Holly and Jim and defining the relationship you want to have in the future with the both of them. Don’t spend a lot of time talking about Jane since that will keep you in the past and you need to focus on the future. Hope that helps a bit. I’ve been stung by the politics in higher ed and know how that can hurt. That is why you want to play this above board.
-Dr. Mac
Posted in Problems with a Manager, Problem with a peer | Post a Question | No Comments »
Tuesday, August 5th, 2008
Hello Dr. Mac:
Today was the last day of a 4 week class with the same people. During lunch I went to get some soup from the kitchen that we all use together. I heated it up and went into the dining area to eat it. All of a sudden someone comes in very angry and says angrily, “that is my soup you are eating”. I said I had no idea it was their soup as it was in the same location as all of the free food. The party whose soup I was eating said, “everyone here knows I eat that kind of soup”. I had no idea this person eats that kind of soup and the person sitting next to me said the same thing. So apparent not everyone knows this party ‘eats that kind of soup’. The offended party literallly stormed out of the room after shouting me down. I was startled by the angry reaction. After a few minutes of having a knot in my stomach, I picked up the bowl and went back into the kitchen area because I was going to wash the bowl and put it away. As I walked into the kitchen there were maybe 5 people in it, including the person who had just lashed out at me. As I walked in she said to me in front of everyone, “I hope you enjoyed my lunch”. I was feeling humiliated already because when she had yelled at me in the dining area, so this time I let her have it. The person started to scream at me. So I yelled back for her to “get out of my face”. You get the picture. Soon the supervisor walked in and said to me, “go wait in the other room”. So I left and went into the other room. I was feeling resentful that I had been pulled from the kitchen and the other person allowed to stay. Later, when I went to speak to the supervisor, I closed the door so we could have a private conversation. But, just at that moment, she said to me, “Oh no, I’m not going to have any of that”. I knew she was inferring not to close the door so I immediately opened it. Then she said, “Look, I am going to talk to everyone about this later on in a group meeting,” yet didn’t want to get my side. I left her office scratching my head. She did call a meeting and said to the group that this incident had occured. She didn’t blame anyone. She simply pointed out a few things that these things happen, etc. etc. How could she turn this episode into a lesson without having even spoken to either of the parties invovolved? Did she handle this correctly?
Sincerely, Julie
Hi Julie.
Quite a story. Let me give you some feedback on your questions.
First, did the supervisor handle the situation appropriately? You are right when you say she should have talked individually (or even together) with you and the other party. As a conflict mediator myself, I always get both sides of the story before taking the next step (whatever that might be). I will say that the supervisor did fine taking control of the situation and addressing it later on with the group, without signaling out individuals. She probably figured that since the class was ending, there was no point in getting too involved in the situation since the players wouldn’t be around each other in the future. Yes, she should have talked with you, especially after saying she would, but overall I can’t fault her actions. I wouldn’t be saying that if you guys worked together on her staff, but since it was a temporary situation, she did enough to get by. That’s also why it probably wasn’t important to her to sit down with both of you. She just needed to put the fire out. And, since you may have looked like the aggressor when she walked in the kitchen, she pulled you out.
In regards to the person who turned on you after you went out of your way to be friends…, I would suggest you don’t spend too much time working yourself up on that one. That person could have been having a bad day or maybe had a fight with a spouse or just found out a loan didn’t go through, etc., and you just happened to be the straw that broke the camel’s back on that day. What I want you to focus on is being the person that you want to be and don’t let other people dictate that for you. If you want to be the kind of person who accepts everyone, brings gifts, and always has something nice to say, then be that person and be that person all the time, regardless what you get back from others. After all, it really is not about them, it is about you. Know that there are people out there who can be mean and insensitive. Some are sarcastic. Some project their negativity on others. That won’t go away. The only constant in life is showing up (all the time) as the person you most want to be. If that means turning the other cheek, then do it.
Lastly, I would suggest you go back and complete your three weeks there. The supervisor did what she thought was best. Don’t be mad at her for not hearing your side of the story. Life is not easy, but all the challenges make us stronger. Going back is a challenge that will make you stronger. Hope that helps.
-Dr. Mac
Posted in Problems with a Manager, Problem with a peer | Post a Question | No Comments »
Sunday, July 27th, 2008
Co-worker problem
Dear Dr. Mac,
I am in the magazine publishing business. The magazine hired me and another, slightly older and more experienced co-worker at the same time for the same job. However, ever since she was hired in December, my co-worker has consistently failed to arrive at work on time, sometimes arriving as late at 3:00pm. She frequently leaves early or stays only until 6:00. Our supervisors know about this and have asked her to come early and to work 5 days a week. She has told me that she does not understand why this is necessary. She also seems to have trouble doing anything I ask her to do, even when I have asked politely or when I have asked twice for her to perform a simple task. I believe she feels superior to me, and she often cites her “10 years” of editorial experience. I have worked in this industry only 6 months, but I have already won the respect of my colleagues. She has not. Her work is not any better than mine, and she seems to lack an understanding of what kinds of material our magazine publishes. Last week, we really needed her help for a tasking project. She wasn’t in the office at 9:00 am. We called her, and she didn’t show up until after 11:00. It was the same thing the next day. On the second day, my supervisors were furious and decided to fire her. They sat around the lunch table and discussed it and even tried to think of a good day to do it. Well, it’s been a week later and they still haven’t fired her! I’m feeling extremely frustrated. I don’t understand why they are keeping her considering her record. I know it isn’t my decision, but she and I do not get along and it would relieve a lot of stress in my day if they let her go. I know I should just sit tight, but I can’t stand her. I wish there was something I could do to expedite the process. How long should it take employers to fire someone this incompetent anyway?
-Still waiting Sarah
Dear Still waiting Sarah,
You answered your own question when you said you should just sit tight. Right now the best thing you could do is continue to work hard and let go of trying to predict or judge the process that is in place regarding Sarah and her supervisors. Focus your energy on the things you can control. If a week goes by and nothing has happened or you have not been told anything, I don’t see anything wrong if you inquired about your coworker’s status, keeping in mind that you want to come from a “I’m here if you need me to step up and take on extra work” mode and not from a “what’s the latest gossip” mode. The good news is the situation is being addressed. Assuming there is a paper-trail documenting past performance issues, including tardiness, the wait shouldn’t be too long. However, if there has been a lack of documentation for past performance issues, then it is possible that your co-worker could be put on a performance improvement plan instead. In other words, she won’t be fired but reprimanded with consequences spelled out if the performance issues continue. I would suggest you be prepared for either outcome. Once again Sarah, don’t spend much energy on this. Focus on your work and being as supportive and helpful as you can to the supervisors.
-Dr. Mac
Posted in Problem with a peer | Post a Question | No Comments »
Monday, July 7th, 2008
Dear Dr. Mac:
There is a group of people in our office that spread mean spirited gossip about me constantly. They target new employees in the dept to spread this gossip. We know who is doing this. My manager won’t do anything. She said I should rise above it. Help Dr. Mac!
-Picked On Penelope
Dear Picked On Penelope:
Is the gossip preventing you from doing your job as effectively as possible? If it is just bothersome but doesn’t really impact your ability to get your work done, then I’d have to agree with your manager’s advice and suggest your rise above it. However, if the gossip is creating bad feelings for you and impacting your work relationships, particularly with the newer employees, then I’d encourage you to address it in two ways.
First, be professional and supportive in your relationship with both the gossipers and the new employees. In other words, instead of reacting to the gossip with anger and frustration, do the exact opposite. By “killing them with kindness,” so to speak, you essentially take away the incentive to gossip about you because there is less and less to gossip about. It’s your “reaction” that feeds the gossip and essentially reinforces it because it gives the gossipers something to gossip about. When you take the reaction away, you also take the incentive away, albeit slowly at first.
Secondly, be prepared to confront the gossipers should the behavior continue. It will be important to: 1) make sure you have accurate information about who said what; and 2) confront the gossipers in a non-offensive manner and on an individual basis. It might look something like this: “There was an inaccurate comment made about me the other day and it was attributed to you. Whether it’s true that you said it or not, I’d just want to encourage you to bring anything about me to me directly and let me be the one to decide what to share and not share with the group. Is that something you are willing to do?”
By directly communicating to the gossipers, you are not only role model effective communication, but you are holding them accountable for what they said. That’s why it is imperative that your information is correct. Assuming it is, between “killing them with kindness” and holding them accountable, the gossip should stop and your relationships should improve over time.
-Dr. Mac
Posted in Problem with a peer | Post a Question | No Comments »
Monday, July 7th, 2008
Dear Dr. Mac,
I have a coworker who continuously makes personal calls throughout the day. It would be one thing if this was just an occasional occurrence, but she is constantly on the phone, all day long, day after day. What’s worse is that because we have cubicles, everyone can hear her talking out loud, laughing and having a good time.
I’ve tried talking to the supervisor but he tells me to mind my own business. It has gotten to the point that I can no longer concentrate and do the job I was hired to do. I’m about to give up!
Please help me.
Angry & Annoyed
Dear Angry & Annoyed:
Let me ask you this: If a coworker of yours had an issue with you, would you prefer that they talk to you directly about it or go to your supervisor first with their concerns? I’m guessing that you’d prefer they come talk to you directly first. With that in mind, you too have the responsibility to talk to the coworker directly about your concerns. Anything less would be disrespectful. And that includes talking “about her” to coworkers.
Next, you need to assess if her behavior is negatively impacting your ability to get your job done. I mention this because if her behavior is just annoying but doesn’t really impact your work, then I’d have to agree with your supervisor and tell you to let it go. You are wasting a lot of valuable energy and time on something that is not really important. If, on the other hand, her behavior does indeed impede your ability to get your work done, then by all means, keep reading.
Confronting your coworker doesn’t have to be a difficult experience. Sit down with her, one-to-one, and tell her what’s going on with you, making sure you cover the following points:
1) Begin by acknowledge the importance of having an effective working relationship with her.
2) Tell her that the purpose of your conversation is to share a concern that she may not be aware of.
3) Describe the particular behavior that is causing a problem for you.
4) Explain how the behavior is impacting your ability to get your work done.
5) Propose a solution.
6) Get agreement.
7) Thank her for her willingness to collaborate with you.
It’s important to remember when confronting a coworker that the key is not to make them wrong. The key is to ask for what you need and to give them the same opportunity with you. Always remember to keep the focus on the working relationship. Personal attacks don’t belong here. Finally, be respectful and polite and treat coworkers the same way you’d like to be treated.
-Dr. Mac
Posted in Problem with a peer | Post a Question | No Comments »
|
| |
| | |
|
|
|
|
