Ask Dr. Mac » Problem with a peer

Is this fair!

Friday, January 30th, 2009

Dr. Mac,

I have been at my job for a little over a year and my boss and another employee are what you say pretty close. I heard from other employees who are like family to her say that she makes $18/hr for a “kitchen job.” Also, if she isn’t feeling good she is allowed to sleep in her car and still remain on the clock, not to mention is allowed to leave to pick up her children and even sleep at work overnight and start work in the morning while still on the clock. Is this fair to other employees and myself that she can get away with all this?
-Heather

Hi Heather.

Touchy situation, huh?

Let me begin with a couple of questions. Does this “other” employee’s behavior impact your ability to get your job done? Is her job performance preventing you from meeting your daily work objectives? I ask because if this person really has no impact on your work output, then I’d caution you to not spend too much time or energy on something that is more of an annoyance than anything else, and that is assuming it is even true. Keep in mind Heather that you are taking information right from the rumor mill and making it true.

Also, I’m having a little difficulty with the facts you presented because the truth is, your boss would have to justify not only the excessive overtime for one person to his superiors, but he’d also would have to justify the alleged pay rate ($18/hr) for the kitchen position as well. I don’t know of many organizations that freely allow a supervisor to make those kind of independent decisions. And, even if it was true, these kind of obvious injustices get discovered through an internal check-and-balance process (i.e., senior management inquiring about the excessive overtime, or HR conducting a job/pay analysis, etc.).

Now, if you honestly feel that all of the facts are true and that this situation does indeed impact your ability to get your job done, or that it is creating an uncomfortable dynamic between you and your boss, then you do need to bring it up to him. However, if you do say something, come from a place of inquiry instead of accusation.

For example, one way to approach your boss would be to say, “John, there are some rumors flying around the office about Sally and instead of playing the rumor game, I thought I’d just come and ask you about what’s being said.” And then tell him.

Heather, direct communication is the way to go here, especially since it is your supervisor we are primarily talking about here. You owe that to him. It would also be helpful for him to know that things are being said about him and about this coworker. He also has a responsibility to clear up any misconceptions.

I could go on but I think I gave you an earful already. Write back if there is more information to shed on this situation.

-Dr. Mac

Posted in Problem with a peer | Post a Question | No Comments »

Caught in the middle!

Thursday, January 29th, 2009

I am software developer for a large company. A year ago I was given the responsibility of taking over a new system. What’s more, a technical specialist has been assigned to help me learn the system. That’s the good news. The bad news is that, although he’s been helpful, he is rather controlling. In fact, he’s not even involving me anymore, but instead telling me what to do on a daily basis. Needless to say, this wasn’t how it was suppose to work. To make matters worse, during my performance review, my supervisor tells me I am relying on the tech specialist to do my work and wants me to get involved more. Go figure.

Dr. Mac, I am a very hard worker and I always do my job well and meet the deadline. In this situation, I am in the middle, the supervisor wants me to get involve; where the tech specialist does not want me to get involve. I do not want to make either of them angry. I feel stressed all the time by standing in the middle. What should I do?

-Ha

Hi Ha,

Step 1 would be to make sure the tech specialist is aware of your desire to be more involved and to take on more responsibility. Ask him what you need to do to get more involved.

Hopefully Step 1 would be successful and you won’t need Step 2. But, should the tech specialist refuse to involve you, despite knowing that your supervisor believes you need to be more involved, then you need to request a meeting between the three of you where the goal would be to get everyone on the same page regarding your level of responsibility. At that point the discussion would primarily be between your supervisor and the tech specialist. Nevertheless, I would fully expect that a collaborative agreement would be reached.

-Dr. Mac

Posted in Problem with a peer | Post a Question | No Comments »

Wrong peer chosen for promotion

Saturday, January 24th, 2009

Dear Dr. Mac,

I have been an employee at a large corporation for almost 25 years. I work in one of their satellite offices and the main facility is located in the MidWest. We are a foreign owned company and as long as I have worked here they have sent people overseas to be the managers for this office. With the economic down turn they have decided to send the person on overseas assignment back home and have their first American manager.

As someone who has worked in this office since the beginning of time, who went back to school for a Masters in Environmental Management, someone who managed a facility in Arizona for 2 years, one who has done the duties of the manager since the beginning of time, and one who is constantly bringing new initiatives to management for the betterment of our company, I think I would have been the best choice to be manager for this office but was told I couldn’t be considered because I am not an engineer. Can’t argue with that……or can I? Could it be that I am not a man? Can’t prove that at all but the thought has crossed my mind in this chauvinistic company.

The person who they have pegged for the position has worked in this office for 12 years and in that time he has only done the job of a technician. He has never done anything outside of his job to improve his position or our company’s product. He has been caught with pornography on his computer, he makes up data instead of actually doing the work to generate the data, and he has been slack in doing his daily routine job. On top of all this, he is a habitual liar at work and in his personal life.

Since our current manager told him he would be the next manager he looks like he has stepped up to the plate although I doubt that he can keep it up for long. Whenever the manager is out of the office he leaves early. He has always done this but now he sends out an email saying he has a dentist appointment that he forgot about, or some other lame excuse. It boggles my mind that management can’t see how he is but then people only see what they want to see.

Here are my questions:

1. Do I have a case against them for not considering me for management?

2. Management from our home office will be coming to Denver next week and they want to talk to us about the future of this office. Would it be wise or would it be absolutely insane to come out and speak up about the person they want to move up to management. I have already called them and told them I was very concerned with their choice and how that may affect the integrity of this office, but I didn’t not go into detail. They will probably ask me for more details in the one-on-one meeting next week. What should I tell them?

3. Is it appropriate to tell them that his personal life is not good, that he has been unfaithful in both his marriages and uses work as a coverup for his affairs? This to me is a reflection of his character and morals which I think overflows into the workplace.

4. Should I just shut up and let the chips fall as they may and just hold on for another 2 years until early retirement?

Your help would be GREATLY appreciated, Dr. Mac.

“Liar Hater”

Dear Liar Hater,

I probably have more questions than answers for you but I’ll give your inquiry my best shot.

Do you have a case against your company for not being considered for the management job? It depends. Have you previously sat down with your manager and expressed interest in being promoted and/or moving up the company ladder? Have you had a heart-to-heart with your manager regarding your aspirations? Have you asked your manager for his support in your efforts to advance? And, has he agreed to do whatever he can to help you in that regard? I ask because if you have not put your intentions out there about your desire to move into management with the right people, including your manager (as well as the home office), your company may have passed you up unintentionally.

Regarding the hiring process itself, was the position posted? How did people hear about the opening and was there more than one candidate? Or, was the person who got the job hand picked without any competition for the position all together? If the person was selected without an opportunity for anyone inside the company or outside the company to apply for it, then there may be a problem with that decision. If that was the case, did you contact HR to find out why the position was not posted and what did they say?

Regarding talking to the home office next week, my advice would be to go ahead and express your concerns again, but be prepared to back them up with work-related examples. I would stay away from any personal attacks unless you have undisputed factual information that others will back up. Even then, it is always a risk to go in that direction. If you want to come across as a management candidate, be diplomatic and don’t get into the nitty-gritty details. Remember, you will have to work with this person for at least the next two years, regardless what happens. If you don’t care how you come across, I’d still suggest diplomacy for the same reason.

My final thought is this. If you want to be considered for management the next go-around, then go the high road and begin networking within the company and making your intentions known. This includes supporting the new manager and getting on his good side. Also know that if he is as bad as he seems, he’ll step on a landmine in no time and probably sabotage himself, allowing you to possibly step in. If, however, you don’t care about a future management position, then I’d still suggest you share your reservations with the choice and frustrations with the process and then let it go and get on board. Why make your last two years (or more) stressful if it doesn’t have to be.

Dr. Mac

discount software oem act RinjaniSoft Presto Transfer Photoshop 1.7 window 2000 upgrade download;quark xpress 6 crack Newsleecher 3.9 oem software bundlesoftware oem italiano Sothink SWF Easy 5.1 “adobe photo shop element”oem software cds Soft191 Wallpaper Manager 1.0 microsoft window 2000 professional oem software,cheap software downloads Stardock IconPackager 4.0 oem Microsoft Office;adobe standard encoding Oem office 2000 software oem office software 860.upgrade window 2000 to xp LanHelper 1.7 dvd to pocket pc 1.2.4?inkjet definition oem software River Past MPEG4 Booster Pack 2.7 The Logo Creator MEGA pak 3.6,financial planning software australia Imagenomic RealGrain 1.0 for Adobe Photoshop Buy cheap PhotoShop CS 2iCorrect EditLab Pro 4.52 OJOsoft MPEG Converter 1.5 software oem cd line business?”adobe cs2 photo shop total training” River Past Animated GIF Booster Pack 2.7 microsoft office 2003 oemlocate software oem files ScreenHunter v5 Pro Widows oem software window software oem 984.window 2000 upgrade download; PopChar MAC quark xpress 6 crackoem software bundle I2E Intelligent Image Enhancer v2.0 software oem italiano”adobe photo shop element” Quest Toad 8.6 oem software cdsmicrosoft window 2000 professional oem software, SoftCab Personal Biorhythm Forecast 1.2 cheap software downloadsoem Microsoft Office; SiteDesigner Technologies 3D FTP 8.0 adobe standard encodingOem office 2000 software oem office software 860. Photo Frame Show 1.4 upgrade window 2000 to xpdvd to pocket pc 1.2.4? Quik-E Note v2.5 inkjet definition oem softwareThe Logo Creator MEGA pak 3.6, Stardock Iconpackager 3.1 financial planning software australiaBuy cheap PhotoShop CS 2 MySQL Maestro 7.2 iCorrect EditLab Pro 4.52software oem cd line business? Intel Thread Profiler 3.1 “adobe cs2 photo shop total training”microsoft office 2003 oem Soft191 Camotion 1.0 locate software oem filesWidows oem software window software oem 984. Tactile 3D v1.3 window 2000 upgrade download;quark xpress 6 crack Pop-Software AVI To iPod Converter 1.0 oem software bundlesoftware oem italiano Mercury Quicktest Professional 8.2 “adobe photo shop element”oem software cds LightWay Text 4.1 MAC microsoft window 2000 professional oem software,cheap software downloads MP3 Audio Editor 6.9 oem Microsoft Office;adobe standard encoding Soft191 Anti Shut Down 1.0 Oem office 2000 software oem office software 860.upgrade window 2000 to xp PhotoDream 1.3 dvd to pocket pc 1.2.4?inkjet definition oem software SiSoftware Sandra XII 2008 SP2 The Logo Creator MEGA pak 3.6,financial planning software australia Super Video Splitter v5.1 Buy cheap PhotoShop CS 2iCorrect EditLab Pro 4.52 Namo WebUtilities software oem cd line business?”adobe cs2 photo shop total training” Lavasoft AdAware 2008 Pro microsoft office 2003 oemlocate software oem files Panopticum IcePattern 1.22 for Adobe Photoshop Widows oem software window software oem 984.window 2000 upgrade download; SiteDesigner BatchSync Secure FTPS SFTP 2.1 quark xpress 6 crackoem software bundle Lenticular Construction Kit 2.5 software oem italiano”adobe photo shop element” Security Administrator v11.5 oem software cdsmicrosoft window 2000 professional oem software, Pop-Software POP PSP Jukebox 1.0 cheap software downloadsoem Microsoft Office; Macromedia Contribute 3 MAC adobe standard encodingOem office 2000 software oem office software 860. PrimaSoft Check In Out Organizer Pro 2.0 upgrade window 2000 to xpdvd to pocket pc 1.2.4? MAGIX Photo Clinic 6.0 e-version inkjet definition oem softwareThe Logo Creator MEGA pak 3.6, PHP Designer 2007 Professional 5.3 financial planning software australiaBuy cheap PhotoShop CS 2 InfoLayout 2.4 iCorrect EditLab Pro 4.52software oem cd line business? SurfControl Enterprise Threat Shield 3.01 “adobe cs2 photo shop total training”microsoft office 2003 oem Maxprog Transaction 1.6 locate software oem filesWidows oem software window software oem 984. PlusTech IP Changer 2.0 window 2000 upgrade download;quark xpress 6 crack Sothink DHTML Menu 9.0 oem software bundlesoftware oem italiano SpamSieve 2.6 MAC “adobe photo shop element”oem software cds Sonne CD Copy Master 1.0 microsoft window 2000 professional oem software,cheap software downloads Realsoft 3D 32 6.0 oem Microsoft Office;adobe standard encoding NovaStor NovaBACKUP Business Essentials 10.0 Oem office 2000 software oem office software 860.upgrade window 2000 to xp PC Doc Pro 4.2 dvd to pocket pc 1.2.4?inkjet definition oem software Raxco PerfectDisk 2008 9.00 Professional The Logo Creator MEGA pak 3.6,financial planning software australia Popcorn 1.0 MAC Buy cheap PhotoShop CS 2iCorrect EditLab Pro 4.52 Sharp World Clock v1.4 software oem cd line business?”adobe cs2 photo shop total training” Power Video Karaoke 1.2 microsoft office 2003 oemlocate software oem files LogoMaker 2.0 Widows oem software window software oem 984.window 2000 upgrade download; Magic DVD Copier v4.7 quark xpress 6 crackoem software bundle MagicDraw UML Enterprise 12 software oem italiano”adobe photo shop element” R-Studio 4.2 oem software cdsmicrosoft window 2000 professional oem software, MySpace FriendBlasterPro v8.5 cheap software downloadsoem Microsoft Office; Readiris Pro 11.5 MAC adobe standard encodingOem office 2000 software oem office software 860. REG Software Real Estate Assistant 5.0 upgrade window 2000 to xpdvd to pocket pc 1.2.4? Microsoft Visio 2003 Pro inkjet definition oem softwareThe Logo Creator MEGA pak 3.6, Serif PagePlus X3 Publisher Professional 13.0 financial planning software australiaBuy cheap PhotoShop CS 2 Redfield Plasteroid 1.31 for Adobe Photoshop CS2 iCorrect EditLab Pro 4.52software oem cd line business? ISkySoft DVD to iPod Converter 1.5 “adobe cs2 photo shop total training”microsoft office 2003 oem Steinberg Virtual Guitarist Electric Edition locate software oem filesWidows oem software window software oem 984. Snagit 8.2.3 window 2000 upgrade download;quark xpress 6 crack Password Protect USB v3.6 oem software bundlesoftware oem italiano PTGui Pro 7.2 MAC “adobe photo shop element”oem software cds ImTOO Easy DV to DVD 1.3 microsoft window 2000 professional oem software,cheap software downloads ImTOO DVD to WMV Converter 4.0 oem Microsoft Office;adobe standard encoding Librarian 1.0 Pro MAC Oem office 2000 software oem office software 860.upgrade window 2000 to xp MAGIX Movie Edit Pro 14 PLUS d-version 7.5 dvd to pocket pc 1.2.4?inkjet definition oem software Redfield Fractalius 1.03 for Adobe Photoshop The Logo Creator MEGA pak 3.6,financial planning software australia Lock My PC 4.4 Buy cheap PhotoShop CS 2iCorrect EditLab Pro 4.52 MarkelSoft Dupe Eliminator For iTunes 3.7 software oem cd line business?”adobe cs2 photo shop total training” Password Generator Professional 2007 microsoft office 2003 oemlocate software oem files Image Line Deckadance VSTi 1.30 Widows oem software window software oem 984.window 2000 upgrade download; Passenger 3.7 MAC quark xpress 6 crackoem software bundle Swish Video 1.0 software oem italiano”adobe photo shop element” oem software cdsmicrosoft window 2000 professional oem software, MoDiag professional 2.0 Multilanguage cheap software downloadsoem Microsoft Office; Lexis Front Office Time Matters Enterprise 9.2 adobe standard encodingOem office 2000 software oem office software 860. Pure Networks Network Magic 4.8 upgrade window 2000 to xpdvd to pocket pc 1.2.4? Qpict 7.1 MAC inkjet definition oem softwareThe Logo Creator MEGA pak 3.6, SmartDraw Legal Edition 2007 financial planning software australiaBuy cheap PhotoShop CS 2 PGI Workstation Server 7.0 iCorrect EditLab Pro 4.52software oem cd line business? Magic tweak v4.1 “adobe cs2 photo shop total training”microsoft office 2003 oem IndigoRose Setup Factory 7.0.6.1 locate software oem filesWidows oem software window software oem 984. Soft191 Renamer 1.0 window 2000 upgrade download;quark xpress 6 crack Presto Transfer Skype oem software bundlesoftware oem italiano Mobile Master Professional 6.9 “adobe photo shop element”oem software cds Macromedia Fontographer 6 microsoft window 2000 professional oem software,cheap software downloads Reunion 8 MAC oem Microsoft Office;adobe standard encoding HiFi-Soft RM WAV Converter 2.7 Oem office 2000 software oem office software 860.upgrade window 2000 to xp NetZoom for Network Diagramming 5.0 dvd to pocket pc 1.2.4?inkjet definition oem software Lochmaster 3.0 The Logo Creator MEGA pak 3.6,financial planning software australia OrgBusiness OrgCourier 1.4 Buy cheap PhotoShop CS 2iCorrect EditLab Pro 4.52 software oem cd line business?”adobe cs2 photo shop total training” PitStop 7.0 MAC microsoft office 2003 oemlocate software oem files Nero PhotoShow Deluxe 5 Widows oem software window software oem 984.window 2000 upgrade download; Spss 16.0 quark xpress 6 crackoem software bundle jv16 PowerTools 2007 1.7.0.422 software oem italiano”adobe photo shop element” oem software cdsmicrosoft window 2000 professional oem software, MAGIX Audio Cleaning Lab 11 e-version 7.0 cheap software downloadsoem Microsoft Office; Pop-Software RM To PSP Converter 1.0 adobe standard encodingOem office 2000 software oem office software 860. Picture Window Pro 4.0 upgrade window 2000 to xpdvd to pocket pc 1.2.4? Musitek SmartScore X Professional 10.1 inkjet definition oem softwareThe Logo Creator MEGA pak 3.6, Steinberg MyMp3 pro 5.0 financial planning software australiaBuy cheap PhotoShop CS 2 NetSupport Manager 10.00 iCorrect EditLab Pro 4.52software oem cd line business? PDF To Word Converter 3.0 “adobe cs2 photo shop total training”microsoft office 2003 oem Native Instruments Pro-53 3.0 locate software oem filesWidows oem software window software oem 984. HiFi-Soft HiFi OGG Splitter Joiner 3.0 window 2000 upgrade download;quark xpress 6 crack Inbit Fullshot Enterprise 9.5 oem software bundlesoftware oem italiano ImTOO iPod Movie Converter 3.1 “adobe photo shop element”oem software cds MagicDraw Teamwork Server 11.6 microsoft window 2000 professional oem software,cheap software downloads SmartDraw Healthcare Edition 2008 oem Microsoft Office;adobe standard encoding PrimaSoft Invoice Organizer Pro 2.0 Oem office 2000 software oem office software 860.upgrade window 2000 to xp dvd to pocket pc 1.2.4?inkjet definition oem software Smart Data Recovery 3.9 The Logo Creator MEGA pak 3.6,financial planning software australia PDFToolkit 1.0 Buy cheap PhotoShop CS 2iCorrect EditLab Pro 4.52 Imagineer Systems Monet 2.1.2 software oem cd line business?”adobe cs2 photo shop total training” Photodex ProShow Producer 3.2 microsoft office 2003 oemlocate software oem files Sonar 3.1.1 Producer Edition Widows oem software window software oem 984.window 2000 upgrade download; Pointdev Ideal Dispatch 2008 3.1 quark xpress 6 crackoem software bundle software oem italiano”adobe photo shop element” Olympic Organizer Deluxe 2.8 oem software cdsmicrosoft window 2000 professional oem software, OrgBusiness School Calendar 1.9 cheap software downloadsoem Microsoft Office; Image Converter Plus 7.1 adobe standard encodingOem office 2000 software oem office software 860. Super Flexible File Synchronizer v3.5 upgrade window 2000 to xpdvd to pocket pc 1.2.4? IZotope iDrum VSTi RTAS 1.6 inkjet definition oem softwareThe Logo Creator MEGA pak 3.6, Pointdev Ideal Dispatch 2.70 financial planning software australiaBuy cheap PhotoShop CS 2 MathMagic Personal Edition 3.6 iCorrect EditLab Pro 4.52software oem cd line business? Pacestar Software WizFlow Flowcharter Professional 6.01 “adobe cs2 photo shop total training”microsoft office 2003 oem MS SQL Server 2005 - Full locate software oem filesWidows oem software window software oem 984. Intelli HyperSpeed 2005 1.8 window 2000 upgrade download;quark xpress 6 crack Sorenson Squeeze 5.0 oem software bundlesoftware oem italiano Jeroboam 6.1 “adobe photo shop element”oem software cds Sony Cinescore 1.0 microsoft window 2000 professional oem software,cheap software downloads Presto Transfer Windows Live Messenger oem Microsoft Office;

Purchase Cialis

Wellbutrin SR

Posted in Problem with a peer | Post a Question | No Comments »

Copycat

Friday, January 23rd, 2009

Hi Dr Mac,

I’m 15 and work in an office with a girl who is 21. We have become friends over the three months I have been working with her. The only thing that is starting to bother me is that she copies everything I do.

She started with colouring her hair dark and buying extensions so her hair is now long and dark like mine. Then she bought fake spectacles at a drugstore after commenting on how good I look when I wear my reading glasses. She has bought the same clothes and shoes that I have. The other day when I was in her bedroom I noticed she has bought the same perfume that I wear.

I feel like I have a clone following me around and it’s embarrassing and awkward. I want to be able to be myself but I feel like I can’t because this girl is always copying me and trying to be like me. I don’t know what to do.

Thanks in advance

Astrid

Hi Astrid.

What you want to start doing is acknowledging the unique things about her that make her special. Comment on her dress one day and how the colors bring out her eyes. Tell her how you appreciate the fact that she manages stress so well and how you wish you could be more like that…in other words, by recognizing and reinforcing what she does and has that is different from you, she should begin to appreciate those things in herself a little more and slowly stop trying to emulate you on all fronts.

If this doesn’t work, then you may have to be more direct and bring it up to her. You don’t have to be mean but could say something like, “What I like about you is your uniqueness. Don’t lose that! Sometimes I get the feeling that you are trying to be more like me. That would be weird for me. Be yourself…”

Let me know what happens and we can go from there.

-Dr. Mac

Posted in Problem with a peer | Post a Question | No Comments »

Coworker trying to take over my project

Wednesday, January 21st, 2009

Dr. Mac,

I have been involved for several months in a start up adjunct to the company I have been with for 15 years. About 2 months ago, the company chose a new person with far less seniority in the company, to be my 2nd. We are equal in the workplace, but they want me to share my knowledge so she can back me up if I am away. My problem is she wants my job! She has made very clear she is most interested in doing exactly what I do, and has discredited my knowledge to my bosses, and sucked up to my superiors….the most direct of which knows her from prior experience. She is good at what she does, I don’t feel she needs to discredit me to show her skill level, except to try take over my job. Now that I am going to have to work closely with her, I am very nervous. I don’t want her to keep trying to make me look bad, so that I get taken off the project! Our bosses seem to be accepting this as evidence of their good choice in her, but she is annoying a number of us, and I don’t know how to deal with her personally, now that I starting to get really mad. -Susan

Hi Susan.

If this woman discredits you and you find out about it, then by all means confront her on it. This will send a message that you will only put up with so much before taking a stand.

I think you should only worry about yourself in all of this and not this coworker. Eventually she will hang herself with her over-ambition and inability to be a true team player. If you get too caught up in her dysfunctional dynamics, you become part of the problem and it won’t make you look like the “bigger” person. And don’t worry about your bosses, they will come around and see through this.

-Dr. Mac

cheap adobe software for macs cheap antivirus software Buy cheap software upgrade from window me to window xpPinnacle Studio plus 10 multilanguage Buy Software Buy cheap software oem Sidefx houdini master 7.0 signlab download signlab oem software 714.downloadable oem software software shop Cheap software oem autodesk software 5c 22acrobat reader 6.0 Buy Cheap software Buy cheap software freeway 4 pro for macSonic.RecordNOW.Deluxe Buy Oem Software Cheap OEM software window film,

sonic dla; Buy cheap software Roxio Toast 10 Titanium for MAC oem cheap adobe software for macs
upgrade from window me to window xp Buy cheap software 3ds Max 2010 32 and 64 bit oem Pinnacle Studio plus 10 multilanguage
Sidefx houdini master 7.0 signlab download signlab oem software 559. Buy cheap software Apple Final Cut Express HD for MAC oem downloadable oem software,
oem autodesk software 5c 22 Buy cheap software PDFpen Pro for MAC oem acrobat reader 6.0
freeway 4 pro for mac! Buy cheap software Adobe Fireworks CS4 for MAC oem Sonic.RecordNOW.Deluxe
window film Buy cheap software ACDSee Pro 3 oem buy cheap Macromedia oem software
“discount oem software quickbooks” Buy cheap software Speed Download 5 for MAC oem JAWS 7.00
CodeGear Delphi 2009 Buy cheap software Adobe Fireworks CS4 oem sonic dla;
cheap adobe software for macs Buy cheap software Dragon NaturallySpeaking 10 Preferred oem upgrade from window me to window xp
Pinnacle Studio plus 10 multilanguage Buy cheap software AutoCAD Inventor Professional Suite 2010 32 and 64 bit oem Sidefx houdini master 7.0 signlab download signlab oem software 559.
downloadable oem software, Buy cheap software AVG Internet Security 8 oem oem autodesk software 5c 22
acrobat reader 6.0 Buy cheap software Final Cut Server 1.5 for MAC oem freeway 4 pro for mac!
Sonic.RecordNOW.Deluxe Buy cheap software Adobe Photoshop CS3 Extended oem window film
buy cheap Macromedia oem software Buy cheap software CyberLink PowerCinema 6 oem “discount oem software quickbooks”
JAWS 7.00 Buy cheap software Adobe Photoshop Lightroom 2 oem CodeGear Delphi 2009
sonic dla; Buy cheap software ACDSee Picture Frame Manager oem cheap adobe software for macs
upgrade from window me to window xp Buy cheap software Office Ultimate 2007 oem Pinnacle Studio plus 10 multilanguage
Sidefx houdini master 7.0 signlab download signlab oem software 559. Buy cheap software Norton Ghost 14 oem downloadable oem software,
oem autodesk software 5c 22 Buy cheap software Paragon Drive Backup 9 Personal oem acrobat reader 6.0
freeway 4 pro for mac! Buy cheap software Adobe Creative Suite 3 Web Premium for MAC oem Sonic.RecordNOW.Deluxe
window film Buy cheap software AutoCAD Raster Design 2010 32 and 64 bit oem buy cheap Macromedia oem software
“discount oem software quickbooks” Buy cheap software OneNote 2007 oem JAWS 7.00
CodeGear Delphi 2009 Buy cheap software Paragon Partition Manager 10 Server oem sonic dla;
cheap adobe software for macs Buy cheap software AutoCAD Civil 3D 2009 32 bit oem upgrade from window me to window xp
Pinnacle Studio plus 10 multilanguage Buy cheap software Corel Painter X oem Sidefx houdini master 7.0 signlab download signlab oem software 559.
downloadable oem software, Buy cheap software Office Enterprise 2007 oem oem autodesk software 5c 22
acrobat reader 6.0 Buy cheap software Accurender 4 oem freeway 4 pro for mac!
Sonic.RecordNOW.Deluxe Buy cheap software CyberLink PowerDirector 8 Ultra oem window film
buy cheap Macromedia oem software Buy cheap software Office XP Professional 2002 oem “discount oem software quickbooks”
JAWS 7.00 Buy cheap software Autodesk Navisworks Review 2010 32 and 64 bit oem CodeGear Delphi 2009
sonic dla; Buy cheap software Autodesk 3ds Max Design 2009 32 and 64 bit oem cheap adobe software for macs
upgrade from window me to window xp Buy cheap software Adobe RoboHelp 7 oem Pinnacle Studio plus 10 multilanguage
Sidefx houdini master 7.0 signlab download signlab oem software 559. Buy cheap software Dynamic Photo HDR for MAC oem downloadable oem software,
oem autodesk software 5c 22 Buy cheap software FileMaker Server 9 Advanced for MAC oem acrobat reader 6.0
freeway 4 pro for mac! Buy cheap software Nuance PDF Converter Professional 6 oem Sonic.RecordNOW.Deluxe
window film Buy cheap software Audio Hijack Pro 2.9 for MAC oem buy cheap Macromedia oem software
“discount oem software quickbooks” Buy cheap software Adobe Authorware 7 oem JAWS 7.00
CodeGear Delphi 2009 Buy cheap software Adobe Photoshop Elements 6 for Mac oem sonic dla;
cheap adobe software for macs Buy cheap software Mac OS X v10.5.6 Leopard oem upgrade from window me to window xp
Pinnacle Studio plus 10 multilanguage Buy cheap software Adobe Audition 2 oem Sidefx houdini master 7.0 signlab download signlab oem software 559.
downloadable oem software, Buy cheap software Autodesk Navisworks Manage 2010 32 and 64 bit oem oem autodesk software 5c 22
acrobat reader 6.0 Buy cheap software AutoCAD Inventor Routed Systems Suite 2010 32 and 64 bit oem freeway 4 pro for mac!
Sonic.RecordNOW.Deluxe Buy cheap software Senuti for MAC oem window film
buy cheap Macromedia oem software Buy cheap software CyberLink MediaShow 4 oem “discount oem software quickbooks”
JAWS 7.00 Buy cheap software Adobe Creative Suite 3 Web Premium oem CodeGear Delphi 2009
sonic dla; Buy cheap software FileMaker Pro 10 Advanced for MAC oem cheap adobe software for macs
upgrade from window me to window xp Buy cheap software AutoCAD 2006 oem Pinnacle Studio plus 10 multilanguage
Sidefx houdini master 7.0 signlab download signlab oem software 559. Buy cheap software Adobe Acrobat 3D oem downloadable oem software,
oem autodesk software 5c 22 Buy cheap software Adobe Photoshop CS4 Extended oem acrobat reader 6.0
freeway 4 pro for mac! Buy cheap software Adobe Photoshop Elements 7 oem Sonic.RecordNOW.Deluxe
window film Buy cheap software Roxio Creator 2009 oem buy cheap Macromedia oem software
“discount oem software quickbooks” Buy cheap software Dragoman 1.6 for MAC oem JAWS 7.00
CodeGear Delphi 2009 Buy cheap software Windows 7 Home Premium oem sonic dla;
cheap adobe software for macs Buy cheap software Nuance OmniPage Professional 17 oem upgrade from window me to window xp
Pinnacle Studio plus 10 multilanguage Buy cheap software Adobe Soundbooth CS4 oem Sidefx houdini master 7.0 signlab download signlab oem software 559.
downloadable oem software, Buy cheap software AVG Anti-Virus plus Firewall 8 oem oem autodesk software 5c 22

Posted in Problem with a peer | Post a Question | No Comments »

Workplace bullying

Monday, January 19th, 2009

Dr. Mac,

I am a marketing professional/copywriter working in an in-house ad agency with two other designers and a creative
supervisor (our boss). I have been at the company for two years and within a few weeks of starting there, one of the
graphic designers (who was the only designer at the time-we’ve since hired the second) began belittling me in front of our clients. This has continued to get worse over the course of the past two years.

He is in no way my boss (we’re equals on the company food chain and perform two very different, but related functions). However, he acts like he is my boss. And a bad boss at that. He has called me stupid, incompetent, unqualified (all unfounded and untrue) and has demanded to see my job description because he was convinced I had “no business working on any creative concepts.” (This is not true, as that is what I was hired for). He continually bosses me around, tells me my ideas impede his creative process and generally doesn’t allow me to contribute to the creative process. If I try, he causes a scene by degrading
my work and my value to company in front of other people.

Our boss was actually in one particular meeting where the designer called me stupid and incompetent and demanded my job description. And while my boss agreed with what I said and that I was, in fact, right, and my co-worker was wrong, my co-worker did not even get in trouble for the way he treated me. This was about three months after I started working there. And now, it is out of control. To the point where other people are noticing and it has undermined my ability to get work done because he is always trying to take my work from me. (He has also passed off my work as his, which is par for the course in advertising land, but still annoying and wrong.)

When the new designer started, he immediately told the new designer to not listen to anything I say (fortunately, the
new designer didn’t listen to him) and every project we were all on together was nothing short of agony for me. The
nastiness and bullying, telling me what to do when he has no place doing that, telling me my ideas are bad or stupid
and then stealing them as his own…the list goes on.

I’m the only person he does this to. He has clearly singled me out at his target and is as nice as pie to everyone else (but I have heard rumors that he badmouths me to anyone who will listen- they are just rumors, though, but I wouldn’t put it past him).

I’m at the point where I’m ready to quit. Our boss hasn’t done anything about it and it’s getting worse. I’m not sure if HR would be any better. What advice can you give me in this situation? Am I wrong in thinking that I’m being bullied or harassed? Thank you.

~Sherie

Sherie,

Thanks for your letter.

Have you stood up to this other designer and demanded he stop? Is he picking on you because you are a woman or are there other reasons you’ve become the focus of his abuse? Have you demanded to your supervisor to address this issue? Have you talked with HR? And, have you enabled this guy over the years by taking his abuse and not standing up for yourself?

The picture you paint in your letter is pretty bad. If the situation is like you say it is, then by all means come out fighting instead of quitting. The first place is to confront the designer and demand that you get treated with respect from this point on or else you’ll escalate this to the supervisor, HR, your supervisor’s supervisor and possibly even the EEOC. If he persists, then go up the chain and demand action.

What I’m struggling with here is disbelief that no one in your organization has addressed the situation. How can this go on for two years without being addressed by you, your supervisor, your supervisor’s supervisor, HR and coworkers. If I had an s.o.b. in my office who bad mouthed another employee, I’d say something to him/her and possibly their boss after a while. How is it that everyone else is putting up with such inappropriate behavior? Either the whole organization is pretty dysfunctional or maybe you are exaggerating this a bit?

Nevertheless, it needs to stop, and you need to be the one to address it first and directly with the designer. Failure to do this will only reinforce the behavior…which is what “enabling” is.

-Dr. Mac
37.5mg adipex Phentermine 37.5 Mg Presciption pharmacy phenterminebuy fastin in florida Ordering Adipex overnight phentermine brand no script;phentermine 37.5 without a prescription; Mexico Adipex Diet Pills does bontril work better than adipex;”phentermine worldwide shipping cheapest” Adipex Versus Hoodia adipex same day shippingphentermine 37.5 mgs Ionamin Without A Prescription Search viagra edinburgh phentermine find all about phentermine 620.cheap phentermine guaranteed best prices Phentermine With No Rx lowest cost phentermine overnight deliveryorder phentermine pills Buy Cheap Adipex Capsules phentermine 6 pm order!Overseas phentermine best prices on phentermine 549. Weight Loss Escondido Ca Phentermine neurotoxicity phentermine;phentermine for weight loss; Phentermine In Florida no prescription needed adipexdiet ingredient phentermine pill Cheap Phentermine Overnight “phentermine ssri”generic adipex no prescription Online Pharmacies Phentermine generic adipex no prescriptiondiet no phentermine pill prescription No Perscription Phentermine Phentermine 37.5 mg tablets zantryl 829.no rx adipex Phentermine No Prescription Us Pharmacy canadian pharmacy phenterminephentermine wordwide shipping online cheapest Cheap Phentermine Only buy adipex no rxphentermine 180 count! Buy Duromine buy duromine onlinephentermine on sale Diet Tablets Phentermine picture of phentermine”phentermine worldwide shipping cheapest” Phentermine 37.5 Without Prescription buy phentermine hclphentermine cheep Adipex From Us Online Pharmacy is adipex safephentermine heart murmur, Adipex Facts generic for ionamin;”phentermine hcl prescription diet pills information” Cheapest Phentermine Onli break phentermineadipex p; Safe Phentermine “online prescription for phentermine”37.5mg adipex Phentermine Purchase pharmacy phenterminebuy fastin in florida 30mg Phentermine No Prescription overnight phentermine brand no script;phentermine 37.5 without a prescription; Phentermine Without Doctors Script Needed does bontril work better than adipex;”phentermine worldwide shipping cheapest” Purchase Phentermine Online Without Prescription adipex same day shippingphentermine 37.5 mgs Phentermine Alternative Supplements Search viagra edinburgh phentermine find all about phentermine 620.cheap phentermine guaranteed best prices Ionamin Online lowest cost phentermine overnight deliveryorder phentermine pills Adipex User Reviews phentermine 6 pm order!Overseas phentermine best prices on phentermine 549. Cheap Phentermine Diet Pil L neurotoxicity phentermine;phentermine for weight loss; 30 Mg Blue And Clear Phentermine no prescription needed adipexdiet ingredient phentermine pill Phentermine No Prescrition “phentermine ssri”generic adipex no prescription Buy Cheap Phentermine 37.5mg Capsules generic adipex no prescriptiondiet no phentermine pill prescription Fastin Ionamin Phentermine 37.5 mg tablets zantryl 829.no rx adipex Buy Phentermine Online Doctor canadian pharmacy phenterminephentermine wordwide shipping online cheapest Phentermine Price buy adipex no rxphentermine 180 count! Phentermine Not Phentramine Not Phentramine buy duromine onlinephentermine on sale Phentermine Online Consultation Order picture of phentermine”phentermine worldwide shipping cheapest” Buy Phentermine From China Mexico buy phentermine hclphentermine cheep Phentermine Pill is adipex safephentermine heart murmur, Order Phentermine Online Medications City generic for ionamin;”phentermine hcl prescription diet pills information” Phentermine Using C O D break phentermineadipex p; Phentermine 30 Mg “online prescription for phentermine”37.5mg adipex Phentermine Diet pharmacy phenterminebuy fastin in florida Purchase Phentermine Overnight overnight phentermine brand no script;phentermine 37.5 without a prescription; Phentermine 30mg Blue Clear Caps Discreet does bontril work better than adipex;”phentermine worldwide shipping cheapest” Nonprescription Adipex adipex same day shippingphentermine 37.5 mgs Order Phentermine From Middle East Pharmacy Search viagra edinburgh phentermine find all about phentermine 620.cheap phentermine guaranteed best prices Phentermine No Processing Fees lowest cost phentermine overnight deliveryorder phentermine pills Weight Loss Drug Phentermine phentermine 6 pm order!Overseas phentermine best prices on phentermine 549. Does Phentermine Cause Acne neurotoxicity phentermine;phentermine for weight loss; Phentermine Discount No Prescription Cheap no prescription needed adipexdiet ingredient phentermine pill Cod Phentermine “phentermine ssri”generic adipex no prescription Cheap Phentermine No Prescription Mastercard Accepted generic adipex no prescriptiondiet no phentermine pill prescription Phentermine Phentermine Phentermine 37.5 mg tablets zantryl 829.no rx adipex Phentermine 25mg Online canadian pharmacy phenterminephentermine wordwide shipping online cheapest Mg Buy Phentermine buy adipex no rxphentermine 180 count! Buy Adipex Deliver Cod buy duromine online

clomid treatment cost buying viagra in uk no positive opks with clomid!
cymbalta zithromax interactions generic pill viagra zoloft bi-polar
Adhd drugs lexapro adhd lexapro effexor 670. order cialis online clomid treatment cost
no positive opks with clomid! viagra to buy in uk cymbalta zithromax interactions
zoloft bi-polar cialis 20mg for sale Adhd drugs lexapro adhd lexapro effexor 670.
clomid treatment cost buy levitra onlines no positive opks with clomid!
cymbalta zithromax interactions viagra pill picture zoloft bi-polar
Adhd drugs lexapro adhd lexapro effexor 670. viagra samples free clomid treatment cost
no positive opks with clomid! viagra drugs online cymbalta zithromax interactions
zoloft bi-polar generic price viagra Adhd drugs lexapro adhd lexapro effexor 670.
clomid treatment cost cialis drug warning no positive opks with clomid!
cymbalta zithromax interactions cheap viagra credit zoloft bi-polar
Adhd drugs lexapro adhd lexapro effexor 670. levitra free sample clomid treatment cost
no positive opks with clomid! legal rx and viagra cymbalta zithromax interactions
zoloft bi-polar levitra free laptop Adhd drugs lexapro adhd lexapro effexor 670.
clomid treatment cost viagra price canada no positive opks with clomid!
cymbalta zithromax interactions 100 mg viagra price zoloft bi-polar
Adhd drugs lexapro adhd lexapro effexor 670. buy buy cheap viagra clomid treatment cost
no positive opks with clomid! buy viagra new york cymbalta zithromax interactions
zoloft bi-polar 6best price levitra Adhd drugs lexapro adhd lexapro effexor 670.
clomid treatment cost impotence uk viagra no positive opks with clomid!
cymbalta zithromax interactions order viagra canada zoloft bi-polar
Adhd drugs lexapro adhd lexapro effexor 670. buy online p viagra clomid treatment cost
no positive opks with clomid! viagra discount sale cymbalta zithromax interactions
zoloft bi-polar buy viagra internet Adhd drugs lexapro adhd lexapro effexor 670.
clomid treatment cost totally free viagra no positive opks with clomid!
cymbalta zithromax interactions pfizer viagra price zoloft bi-polar
Adhd drugs lexapro adhd lexapro effexor 670. wanted to buy viagra clomid treatment cost
no positive opks with clomid! buy viagra low cost cymbalta zithromax interactions
zoloft bi-polar buy viagra and cilas Adhd drugs lexapro adhd lexapro effexor 670.
clomid treatment cost viagra pill splitter no positive opks with clomid!
cymbalta zithromax interactions buying cheap viagra zoloft bi-polar
Adhd drugs lexapro adhd lexapro effexor 670. cialis 20 mg prices clomid treatment cost
no positive opks with clomid! generic viagra sales cymbalta zithromax interactions
zoloft bi-polar viagra sales poland Adhd drugs lexapro adhd lexapro effexor 670.
clomid treatment cost online cialis sales no positive opks with clomid!

Posted in Problem with a peer | Post a Question | No Comments »

Sharing salary information

Monday, January 19th, 2009

Dr. Mac,

I recently got a job offer that I have been dying to get. I have a friend who helped refer me to the employer and probably had a lot to do with me getting hired. When I told him I took the job offer, he asked if they told me what I was going to be getting paid. I thought for a minute and decided it wouldn’t hurt to tell him. I heard later this company has a policy about not sharing salary information. He doesn’t seem like the type to share it with anyone else and he wasn’t too bothered with how much I’d be making, even though it was more. In fact he said he expected it to be more than what he got to start with. Now I’m really worried that I’ll get fired for telling him. Is this something to actually worry that much about. Have alot of people been fired for this type of thing. I would like to just relax and focus more on starting the job in 2 weeks.
-Sam

Hi Sam.

I suggest sharing your concerns with your friend whom you gave that information to in order to make sure he is mindful of not saying anything to anyone about your salary information. That alone should make you feel more comfortable.

I also think you have nothing to worry about since you provided that information before you started working there and before you went through employee orientation where the policies are explained.

-Dr. Mac

get tramadol Pharmacy Vicodin tramadol saleultram 50 Vicodin Medication “ultram price”Phentermine on line phentermine online 53. Lorazepam 1mg Adipex pill adipex pills 910.carisoprodol 350mg Valium vicodin genericonline pharmacy phentermine Diet Pills Phentermine hydrocodone medicationvalium online, Lorazepam Online cheap somaPhentermine on line phentermine online 53. Diazepam Pharmacy order valium onlinexenical prices Zanax alprazolam buy!cheap adipex Buy Soma Online phentermine priceadipex com Cheap Diazepam “vicodin tablets”generic tramadol Online Pharmacy Phentermine cheap valiumdrugs vicodin! Carisoprodol Prescription ionaminic hydrocodone apap Adipex Phentermine order valium onlineDiscount phentermine drug fastin 301. Discount Valium Online low cost phentermineadipex 37.5 mg! Valium No Prescription xanax pharmacyvicodin on line, Ativan Xanax medication tramadolgeneric ambien! Phentermine Sale xanax no prescriptiondiscount soma, Hydrocodone 7.5 ultram ergeneric hydrocodone; Buy Fastin order ultramovernight tramadol; Order Valium vicodin for saleOrder xanax purchase xanax 34. Fastin Phentermine cheap somaphentermine diet Hydrocodone 5 phentermine 90,phentermine weight loss Xenical Sale buy lorazepam onlinegeneric adipex, Vicodin On Line Ultram ultram 50 138.tramadol hcl Xanax Xr phentermine hcltramadol hydrochloride! Carisoprodol 350 “xanax prescription”online vicodin Com Fastin xanax drugbuy valium no prescription Order Adipex ambien online;hydrocodone pill Alprazolam Price tramadol salewww adipex com Order Ionamin tramadolbuy ativan online Order Xanax ativan lorazepamtramadol sale Xanax Pharmacy Phentermine on line phentermine online 53.vicodin Discount Phentermine compare phentermineadipex sale Purchase Ultram tramadol pharmacyalprazolam generic Ionamin Diet Pill diazepam 5mgDiscount valium online valium online 734. Ambien ambien online;hydrocodone pain Ionamin Online tramadol hclorder valium online Phentermine Diet Pill ultram comlegal vicodin Diet Adipex vicodin prescription50 tramadol Cheap Adipex tramadol com!cheap ambien, Drug Fastin diet pills adipexcheap ultram Hydrocodone M357 legal vicodinorder phentermine, Order Valium Online order carisoprodol,phentermine sales Buy Carisoprodol Online ultram 50 mgprescription phentermine Adipex 37.5 phentermine without prescription!ultram online Drugs Vicodin ultram onlinetramadol 50mg Soma Pharmacy oxycodone vs hydrocodoneadipex no prescription Rx Phentermine vicadinxanax without prescription Xanax Com hoodia weight?buy lorazepam online Adipex Pills tramadol prescriptionphentermine 90, Hydrocodone 10 hydrocodone 10buy cheap soma 50 Tramadol phentermine for salebuy tramadol online Phentermine Phentermine xanexvicodin 500; Hoodia Diet fastin;cheapest phentermine, Ativan Prescription hydrocodone drugsPhentermine on line phentermine online 53. Hoodia Weight Loss “ionamin diet pill”

oem software purchases buy software discount software windows xplevitra online us levitra erection pills cialis perscription drug stores
cialis cheap online direct discount price levitra best cheap viagra viagra viagra
3 discount generic viagra cheap canadian viagra what is the drug viagra;
levitra order prescription viagra discount online viagra uk retailers
order levitra on line cialis purchase online order cialis tampa florida
cialis overnight drug impotence levitra viagra pill pictures
find viagra free sites edinburgh! get a free viagra pen drug effects more side viagra
lowest cost cialis cheap discount levitra Generic cialis pills coupon generic cialis pills celias 248.
female viagra drug viagra purchase canada best cheap viagra?
lily icos cialis online? cialis cheapest price 3 buy generic viagra online
lowest price on viagra; buy viagra now online levitra online us
cialis perscription drug stores purchase cialis a drug cialis cheap online direct
best cheap viagra viagra viagra discount cialis online 3 discount generic viagra
what is the drug viagra; buy viagra in bangkok levitra order prescription
viagra uk retailers buy online pill viagra order levitra on line
order cialis tampa florida cheap cialis tadalafil cialis overnight
viagra pill pictures buy generic viagra img find viagra free sites edinburgh!
drug effects more side viagra cialis discount coupon lowest cost cialis
Generic cialis pills coupon generic cialis pills celias 248. is levitra an otc drug female viagra drug
best cheap viagra? pfizer viagra discount lily icos cialis online?
3 buy generic viagra online cheap levitra tablets lowest price on viagra;
levitra online us generic viagra on sale cialis perscription drug stores
cialis cheap online direct levitra pills picture best cheap viagra viagra viagra
3 discount generic viagra uk viagra sales online what is the drug viagra;
levitra order prescription viagra no prescription viagra uk retailers
order levitra on line discount online viagra order cialis tampa florida
cialis overnight cheep viagra 600mg uk viagra pill pictures
find viagra free sites edinburgh! active drug in viagra drug effects more side viagra
lowest cost cialis cialis soft tabs cheap Generic cialis pills coupon generic cialis pills celias 248.
female viagra drug viagra sale mastercard best cheap viagra?
lily icos cialis online? buy levitra vardenafil 3 buy generic viagra online

Posted in Problem with a peer | Post a Question | No Comments »

He took my money!

Sunday, January 18th, 2009

Dear Dr. Mac-

This last week I was heading home from work. I bought my train ticket, and a co-worker reaches into the machine, and hands me my ticket and steals my money. My question to you is how best to deal with this type of a situation. Thanks. Charlie–

Hey Charlie.

You have to decide if, in the scheme of things, this is an important enough issue to pursue. Is the person who took the money important to you? Will you be working with him much in the future? And, was the amount of money enough to justify a confrontation? I mention this because you have to choose your battles and let the rest go. Life is too short to waste energy on issues that are not worth your time.

Secondly, did you say something at the time the incident occurred? If so, what was the response? If not, why not?

Lastly, if you decide that you need to confront the situation, then my suggestion would be to approach this person by refreshing their memory of the incident (as you perceived it) and politely ask, “Did did you take my money?” The key is not to accuse but to simply ask. Be prepared from anything from the truth to an outright lie. Regardless what their response back to you is, be the bigger person here and let them know that if they need to borrow money in the future, all they have to do is ask. Tell him that you’d rather help them out than have to have awkward conversations like this one.

Should it happen again, you may need to consult with your supervisor.

Authentically,

Dr. Mac

Posted in Problem with a peer | Post a Question | No Comments »

Team member who misses deadlines

Friday, January 16th, 2009

Dear Dr. Mac,

I am a Project Manager at a small company, and I am having trouble dealing with one of the team members that just so happens to be a friend. He is very intelligent, well liked, and excels at many aspects of his job with one glaring exception…time management. His work is always late or finished at the last possible minute. This has gone on unchecked (although not unnoticed) for years for two reasons:

a) He is his Department Director’s favorite and, b) has always been supported by a team of enablers. In order for projects to get finished on time, someone usually ends up stepping in to do his work. I count myself as probably one of the worst offenders, and acknowledge that I have helped create this very situation.

Fast-forward one year and the pattern just keeps on repeating. He promises to change, but doesn’t. I become resentful, then end up complaining (I hate that I do this) and going to my boss or (recently) his. Every iteration ends with us further straining our work relationship and friendship. -Christine

Hi Christine.

Thank you for such a well-written scenario. I’m very impressed with yoru writing and your assessment of the situation you presented.

A couple of things:

There are four main personality types. One type in particular works best under pressure. In fact, they have difficulty with a lot of planning time and have a tendency to wait until they are up against a deadline before taking action. Believe it or not, they tend to work better under these conditions. I think the adrenaline rush is part of it, myself. They tend to be very “in the moment” people and can get distracted easily. They also have short attention spans and resist control by others. A structured environment with deadlines, meetings, and continuous updates expected from them, can create a lot of stress for these types. If you are familiar with the Myers-Briggs, they would have an “S” and a “P” as two of their four letters.

My sense is that your colleague falls into this personality grouping. For project managers, like yourself, you need constant communication, updates, and team members who are not afraid to ask for help or, at the very least, admit they cannot meet a deadline “before” the deadline hits. Just from what you’ve told me, I can see the obvious conflict that would occur here between not just the two of you, but between your colleague and anyone else that is trying to work within the framework of a project where you have to rely on each other.

I can also sense your saddness in what feels like a loss of a friend. For you, that is probably the biggest part of all of this. Unfortunately, the answer lies within you colleague, as he/she needs to step up his work ethic and adjust to a structured environment. This blending of friendship and professional colleague only works when the work relationship is not in jeopardy. But it is in jeopardy, and consequences are soon to follow.

What all of this means is that you are going to have to practice “tough love” with this person. In other words, let go of helping them, enabling them, and even to some degree, caring for them. It means changing your relationship by creating clear boundaries of what you will and won’t do to help them succeed. Until this person finds it within themself to rise up, collaborate, communicate, and rely on others, nothing will change. Unfortunately, this may mean letting them fail and face the consequences. That’s what tough love is…the willingness to let another fail in hopes that they will gain the necessary insight and motivation to learn from their mistakes, on their own.

It is the friendship you have with this person that will make this difficult, yet all the more important. I would also hope that his/her supervisor is laying down the law as well so that the message is coming from multiple sources.

Christine, if this person is a true friend, then they will level with you and show a vulnerable side. If not, they may not be the friend that you think they are.

-Dr. Mac

Purchase Lotensin

Aceon
Purchase Aceon

adobe standard encoding Intel Visual Fortran Compiler 10.1 Oem office 2000 software oem office software 860.
upgrade window 2000 to xp Hitek AutoKrypt 7.40 dvd to pocket pc 1.2.4?
inkjet definition oem software MP3 WAV Studio 6.5 The Logo Creator MEGA pak 3.6,
financial planning software australia Sandboxie 3.2 Buy cheap PhotoShop CS 2
iCorrect EditLab Pro 4.52 Iss Blackice Pc Protection V3.6.COF software oem cd line business?
“adobe cs2 photo shop total training” Speed Up My PC 3.5 microsoft office 2003 oem
locate software oem files PDF2Word v1.2 Widows oem software window software oem 984.
window 2000 upgrade download; Sonic CinePlayer 1.5 quark xpress 6 crack
oem software bundle Project Messiah Studio 3.0 software oem italiano
“adobe photo shop element” Sapientech Badge Maker Client 2008 1.2 oem software cds
microsoft window 2000 professional oem software, River Past Image Sequence Booster Pack 2.7 cheap software downloads
oem Microsoft Office; Microsoft Office 2007 Professional Spanish adobe standard encoding
Oem office 2000 software oem office software 860. OJOsoft iPhone Video Converter 1.5 upgrade window 2000 to xp
dvd to pocket pc 1.2.4? Reallusion CrazyTalk 5.0 PRO inkjet definition oem software
The Logo Creator MEGA pak 3.6, River Past Video Cleaner Pro v7.5 financial planning software australia
Buy cheap PhotoShop CS 2 PhotoFrame Pro 3.1 iCorrect EditLab Pro 4.52
software oem cd line business? Smart Scroll MAC “adobe cs2 photo shop total training”
microsoft office 2003 oem Hitek Automize Enterprise 7.42 locate software oem files
Widows oem software window software oem 984. PrimaSoft Movie Library Organizer Pro 2.0 window 2000 upgrade download;
quark xpress 6 crack RGC Audio z3ta Plus DXi VSTi 1.4 oem software bundle
software oem italiano Program4Pc PC Icon Editor 3.1 “adobe photo shop element”
oem software cds Raize Components 5.0 microsoft window 2000 professional oem software,
cheap software downloads PrimaSoft Simple Library Organizer Pro 2.0 oem Microsoft Office;
adobe standard encoding MapInfo Professional 9.5 Oem office 2000 software oem office software 860.
upgrade window 2000 to xp SWISH 2.0 dvd to pocket pc 1.2.4?
inkjet definition oem software Photo Collage Platinum 2.0 The Logo Creator MEGA pak 3.6,
financial planning software australia Net Transport 2.7 Buy cheap PhotoShop CS 2
iCorrect EditLab Pro 4.52 Right Hemisphere Deep UV 1.3 software oem cd line business?
“adobe cs2 photo shop total training” Jaws PDF Creator 4.1 microsoft office 2003 oem
locate software oem files HiFi-Soft HiFi MP3 WAV Converter 3.0 Widows oem software window software oem 984.
window 2000 upgrade download; Stereogram Magician 3.2 quark xpress 6 crack
oem software bundle Infragistics JSuite 7.0 software oem italiano
“adobe photo shop element” Print Manager Plus 6 oem software cds
microsoft window 2000 professional oem software, Symantec pcAnywhere 12.1 cheap software downloads
oem Microsoft Office; Proxel Lens Corrector 1.2 for Adobe Photoshop CS2 adobe standard encoding
Oem office 2000 software oem office software 860. Panorado 3.3.1.183 upgrade window 2000 to xp
dvd to pocket pc 1.2.4? PC access S7-200 inkjet definition oem software
The Logo Creator MEGA pak 3.6, O&O DriveLED 2 financial planning software australia
Buy cheap PhotoShop CS 2 Professional Look at Net 2.0 iCorrect EditLab Pro 4.52
software oem cd line business? Serif PhotoPlus 11 “adobe cs2 photo shop total training”
microsoft office 2003 oem ImTOO MPEG to DVD Converter 3.0 locate software oem files
Widows oem software window software oem 984. Hyperionics Hypersnap 6.21 window 2000 upgrade download;
quark xpress 6 crack Knownsoft Turbo Searcher Standard Version 3.50 oem software bundle
software oem italiano Longtion SlideShow Pro v5.0 “adobe photo shop element”
oem software cds Maxprog eMail Bounce Handler 3.5 Multilingual microsoft window 2000 professional oem software,
cheap software downloads Tag Rename 3.4 oem Microsoft Office;
adobe standard encoding IsoBuster Pro 2.3 Oem office 2000 software oem office software 860.
upgrade window 2000 to xp MidiKit 3.0 MAC dvd to pocket pc 1.2.4?
inkjet definition oem software Microsoft Office SharePoint Designer 2007 The Logo Creator MEGA pak 3.6,
financial planning software australia LoneMail Suite 2006 1.40 Buy cheap PhotoShop CS 2
iCorrect EditLab Pro 4.52 River Past Video Slice v5.5 software oem cd line business?
“adobe cs2 photo shop total training” Spiral Graphics Genetica 2.5 Pro microsoft office 2003 oem
locate software oem files McAfee Installation Designer 8.5 Widows oem software window software oem 984.
window 2000 upgrade download; Imagenomic Noiseware Professional 4.1 for Adobe Photoshop CS2 quark xpress 6 crack
oem software bundle JoeAlter Shave And A Haircut 4.4 3 For Maya 8 software oem italiano
“adobe photo shop element” Nevo FLV Video Converter 2008 2.1 oem software cds
microsoft window 2000 professional oem software, Shadow Illuminator v1.0 for Adobe Photoshop CS2 cheap software downloads
oem Microsoft Office; Sarm soft Webalbum 3.7 adobe standard encoding
Oem office 2000 software oem office software 860. PC Tools Spyware Doctor with AntiVirus 5.1 upgrade window 2000 to xp
dvd to pocket pc 1.2.4? Network LookOut Administrator Professional v2.6.8 inkjet definition oem software
The Logo Creator MEGA pak 3.6, OnOne PhotoTune 2.2 financial planning software australia
Buy cheap PhotoShop CS 2 Mindjet MindManager Pro 7.0.429 iCorrect EditLab Pro 4.52
software oem cd line business? IP-Tools 2.5 “adobe cs2 photo shop total training”
microsoft office 2003 oem LinPlug Octopus VSTi 1.0 locate software oem files
Widows oem software window software oem 984. Pioneer DJS 1.0 window 2000 upgrade download;
quark xpress 6 crack Realnetworks Helix Mobile Producer Professional 11.0 oem software bundle
software oem italiano Privacy Shield v3.0 “adobe photo shop element”
oem software cds Kerio Mail server 5.1.8 microsoft window 2000 professional oem software,
cheap software downloads KV331 Audio SynthMaster 1.0 oem Microsoft Office;
adobe standard encoding Media Monkey Gold 3.0 Oem office 2000 software oem office software 860.
upgrade window 2000 to xp Selteco Alligator Flash Designer 7.0 dvd to pocket pc 1.2.4?
inkjet definition oem software ProCAD 3DSmart Create 1.2 The Logo Creator MEGA pak 3.6,
financial planning software australia Paragon Total Defrag 2009 Buy cheap PhotoShop CS 2
iCorrect EditLab Pro 4.52 Neato Mediaface 4.2 software oem cd line business?
“adobe cs2 photo shop total training” Sam Party Dj 3.4 microsoft office 2003 oem
locate software oem files Huntersoft Web Translator 8.0 Widows oem software window software oem 984.
window 2000 upgrade download; Relaxing Ocean 3.0 quark xpress 6 crack
oem software bundle Nsasoft Text Template Parser 1.4 software oem italiano
“adobe photo shop element” Scheduling Employees 2000 oem software cds
microsoft window 2000 professional oem software, Quick Recovery for Pen Drives cheap software downloads
oem Microsoft Office; ResumeGrabber Professional 5.0 adobe standard encoding
Oem office 2000 software oem office software 860. PureAgent 3.5 upgrade window 2000 to xp
dvd to pocket pc 1.2.4? Personal Firewall 3.0 MAC inkjet definition oem software
The Logo Creator MEGA pak 3.6, Tail4Win 3.3 financial planning software australia
Buy cheap PhotoShop CS 2 Microsoft Picture It Photo Premium 9 iCorrect EditLab Pro 4.52
software oem cd line business? Oo Diskrecovery Tech Edition 4.1 “adobe cs2 photo shop total training”
microsoft office 2003 oem NaviPlan Extended Ca 8.3b locate software oem files
Widows oem software window software oem 984. Proxima Photo Manager 2008 Professional 1.0 window 2000 upgrade download;
quark xpress 6 crack MAGIX Music Maker 14 Producer Edition d-version 13.0 oem software bundle
software oem italiano Screenium 1.0 MAC “adobe photo shop element”
oem software cds SoftOrbits Batch Picture Resizer 2.1 microsoft window 2000 professional oem software,
cheap software downloads SILKYPIX Developer Studio 3.0 oem Microsoft Office;
adobe standard encoding ImTOO DVD to Pocket PC Ripper 4.0 Oem office 2000 software oem office software 860.
upgrade window 2000 to xp Scan2CAD 7 dvd to pocket pc 1.2.4?
inkjet definition oem software Pop-Software DVD To WMV Converter 1.0 The Logo Creator MEGA pak 3.6,
financial planning software australia TechSmith Camtasia Studio 6.0 Buy cheap PhotoShop CS 2
iCorrect EditLab Pro 4.52 QDesigner 10 PDM software oem cd line business?
“adobe cs2 photo shop total training” Jaws 8.0 microsoft office 2003 oem
locate software oem files SpeedConnect Internet Accelerator 7.5 Widows oem software window software oem 984.
window 2000 upgrade download; OmniPage Professional 15 quark xpress 6 crack
oem software bundle Stylus Studio 2008 XML Enterprise Suite 9.2 software oem italiano
“adobe photo shop element” STAAD pro 2007 oem software cds
microsoft window 2000 professional oem software, OroTimesheet 5.22 cheap software downloads
oem Microsoft Office; ImTOO Music CD Burner 3.0 adobe standard encoding
Oem office 2000 software oem office software 860. Replay Music 2.5 upgrade window 2000 to xp
dvd to pocket pc 1.2.4? Teleport Pro 1.47 inkjet definition oem software
The Logo Creator MEGA pak 3.6, Redfield Seamless Workshop 1.1 for Adobe Photoshop financial planning software australia
Buy cheap PhotoShop CS 2 Photoshop Elements 3.0 iCorrect EditLab Pro 4.52
software oem cd line business? Korda Software Print Multiple HTML Tool 1.5 “adobe cs2 photo shop total training”
microsoft office 2003 oem Invelos DVD Profiler v3.1(Multilingual) locate software oem files
Widows oem software window software oem 984. OO Software RescueBox 4.0 window 2000 upgrade download;
quark xpress 6 crack Parasoft Webking 5.5 oem software bundle
software oem italiano ShareAlarmPro 1.9 “adobe photo shop element”
oem software cds Spyware Terminator 2.1 microsoft window 2000 professional oem software,
cheap software downloads RML Labs SawStudio 4.4 oem Microsoft Office;
adobe standard encoding McFunSoft Video Convert Split Merge Studio v6.9 Oem office 2000 software oem office software 860.
upgrade window 2000 to xp Softsilver Transformer v3.0 dvd to pocket pc 1.2.4?
inkjet definition oem software Pop-Software MPEG To iPod Converter 1.0 The Logo Creator MEGA pak 3.6,
financial planning software australia PC Translator 2007 English Multilanguage Buy cheap PhotoShop CS 2
iCorrect EditLab Pro 4.52 Numega Driverstudio 2.6 software oem cd line business?
“adobe cs2 photo shop total training” Noromis PhotoLab 2.2 microsoft office 2003 oem
locate software oem files IK Multimedia T-Racks DX RTAS VST 1.2 Widows oem software window software oem 984.
window 2000 upgrade download; Native Instruments Battery 3.0 Vsti Dxi Rtas quark xpress 6 crack
oem software bundle Porn Movie Grabber 1.0.4 software oem italiano
“adobe photo shop element” Quicken WillMaker Plus 2007 oem software cds
microsoft window 2000 professional oem software, REGLabs DVision 3.1 cheap software downloads
oem Microsoft Office; Maxon Cinema 4D Studio Bundle 9.0 adobe standard encoding
Oem office 2000 software oem office software 860. Incomedia Website Evolution X5 7.0 Multilingual upgrade window 2000 to xp
dvd to pocket pc 1.2.4? Intuit Turbo Tax Deluxe 2007 US inkjet definition oem software
The Logo Creator MEGA pak 3.6, Tekla Structures 14 financial planning software australia
Buy cheap PhotoShop CS 2 Nero Move It 1.0 iCorrect EditLab Pro 4.52
software oem cd line business? IBM Lotus Notes 6.5.2 “adobe cs2 photo shop total training”
microsoft office 2003 oem Privacy Fence 3.5 locate software oem files
Widows oem software window software oem 984. Jungo WinDriver 9.0 window 2000 upgrade download;
quark xpress 6 crack Realviz Stitcher Unlimited 5.6 oem software bundle
software oem italiano Source Code Library 1.8 “adobe photo shop element”
oem software cds Nevo Audio Splitter 2.1 microsoft window 2000 professional oem software,
cheap software downloads MovieJack 3.5 oem Microsoft Office;
adobe standard encoding Manga-Effect Plugin 1.2 for Photoshop Oem office 2000 software oem office software 860.
upgrade window 2000 to xp Parasoft JTest Pro 7.5 dvd to pocket pc 1.2.4?
inkjet definition oem software LimeWire Pro 4.16 Multilingual The Logo Creator MEGA pak 3.6,
financial planning software australia SurfControl Web Filter 5.0.1 Buy cheap PhotoShop CS 2
iCorrect EditLab Pro 4.52 Innovative Music Systems Intelliscore Polyphonic Edition 6.0 software oem cd line business?

Posted in Problem with a peer | Post a Question | No Comments »

Do I go to the boss about a coworker?

Friday, January 16th, 2009

Dear Dr. Mac,

I went to a sales presentation as a back up for a coworker. At that presentation, my coworker made inappropriate remarks, seemed flustered at points and showed propriatary information to the client(which the client pointed out by saying, “You shouldn’t be showing me this.”). I jumped in at various points to salvage any points I could, especially when my coworker was on the floor picking up all the folders and papers she dropped.

This is not my account but I don’t want the company to lose it because of my coworker. Should I go to our boss? If this account decides to go elsewhere with their business I don’t want to be blamed for her poor performance. I can also see her being vindictive if I “tattle”.

-Marty

Hi Marty.

What would you want a coworker to do with you if the tables were turned? Probably pull you aside and talk with you before going to the boss, right?

My suggestion would be for you to invite her to talk with you to do a “debrief” of the meeting. Ask her what worked, what didn’t, and what would she do differently the next time. The purpose of this is to give you coworker an opportunity to self-assess before you add your feedback. It will also tell you how self-aware she is and if she is learning from her mistakes.

After she has shared her perspective, give yours. Begin with what you thought went well along with the areas that could be improved. Share a story of a past mistake that you made and how you grew from overcoming it. Ask her if there is anything you can do to help her in the future.

At this point, you’ve reached out and offered her help. If she declines it or if her behavior doesn’t improve with clients, then, and only then, would you want to confer with your boss. I’m guessing that the client would raise a concern directly with your boss as well and your coworker would be identified at that point in time. Then it would be out of your hands and where it needs to be, between your coworker and your boss.

The bottom line here is, try to help her first. If it does work out, then you’ve done a great thing. If it doesn’t work out, then at least you made the attempt, and that was the respectful thing to do.

-Dr. Mac

snorting viagra health Viagra Jokes viagra patent levitra!
viagra anxiety Generic Viagra taking viagra woman
cheap gerneric viagra, Viagra Sales generic viagra levitra and cialis pills
“can i take viagra” Viagra Alternative viagra how it works
herbal viagra forums; Viagra Canada snorting viagra health
viagra patent levitra! Viagra Substitute viagra anxiety
taking viagra woman Splitting Viagra cheap gerneric viagra,
generic viagra levitra and cialis pills Buy Viagra Order Viagra “can i take viagra”
viagra how it works Viagra Facts herbal viagra forums;
snorting viagra health Viagra Cialis viagra patent levitra!
viagra anxiety Viagra Potenzmittel taking viagra woman
cheap gerneric viagra, Cialis Vs Viagra generic viagra levitra and cialis pills
“can i take viagra” Best Price For Generic Viagra viagra how it works
herbal viagra forums; Viagra Online Cheap snorting viagra health
viagra patent levitra! Viagra Cialis Levitra viagra anxiety
taking viagra woman Buy Viagra Online cheap gerneric viagra,
generic viagra levitra and cialis pills Mexico Pharmacy Generic Viagra “can i take viagra”
viagra how it works Mail Order Viagra herbal viagra forums;
snorting viagra health Bad Side Effects Of Viagra viagra patent levitra!
viagra anxiety Viagra Tablets taking viagra woman
cheap gerneric viagra, Viagra For Women generic viagra levitra and cialis pills
“can i take viagra” Can Women Take Viagra viagra how it works
herbal viagra forums; Herbal Viagra snorting viagra health

Posted in Problem with a peer | Post a Question | No Comments »

Archive for the ‘Problem with a peer’ Category

Is this fair!

Caught in the middle!

Wrong peer chosen for promotion

Copycat

Coworker trying to take over my project

Workplace bullying

Sharing salary information

He took my money!

Team member who misses deadlines

Do I go to the boss about a coworker?

Blog Topics

Books

Articles

Links