About my new marriage…
Thursday, January 1st, 2009Dr. Mac,
I just married a girl that has changed my life. She is everything to me. About 6 years ago, she was raped outside of where she worked. Ever since then she’s been afraid of sex. She became afraid of men. She is claustrophobic. She’s always been shy from what I’ve heard. I’ve never had sex with her. She told me if she ever does it, she will wait till marriage. she’s still a virgin, disregarding what happened to her before. Since we’ve been married, we haven’t brought up anything about having sex. I would never pressure her about it. If she wants to wait a while, that’s ok with me. I’m more than willing to wait. I’m a true man of God. I can control my sexual urges. I respect women.
My question is, should I wait on her until she is ready, or should I talk to her about it; maybe she could learn to trust me even more if we did have it. We’ve been married for 2 months now. I know i sound like the typical guy who is ready for sex and not willing to wait, but I swear to you, its not true. If you have any advice, I would appreciate your help. thank you. God Bless!
-Marty
Hi Marty.
The trauma that your wife suffered will take more than a couple of months of marriage to work through. She knew you’d be understanding and that is what she needs from you right now.
With that said, this may be an issue that she needs to initially work through by herself with some professional help. You see, before she can trust you, she may have to release some of the past. In order to do so, counseling may be needed. Is she open to that idea and do you have the means to help her in that way? There are women’s groups (i.e., for women who have been raped) that might help here as well. The most important thing is to get her help or a support group. Once she is getting some kind of help around the violation that occurred, she can begin at work on trusting you. It may require taking baby steps, like beginning with very lite touch, then eventually massages, etc.
Chris, gentle discussion is one thing, pressure is another. Know that this could take a while (maybe a year or more). Work on establishing a strong friendship with verbal intimacy for now, along with exploring some help for her.
-Dr. Mac
oem iso software Xilisoft DVD Ripper Ultimate 5 Autocad Sales In
“Buy cheap software Adobe Acrobat Pro 8 oem” Futuremark 3DMark ‘06 Advanced Windows Internet 7
accounting system software QuarkXPress 7.3 Passport Windows 7 Windowsxp
oem iso software Altova XMLSpy 2009 Autocad Sales In
“Buy cheap software Adobe Acrobat Pro 8 oem” Microsoft Visual Studio 2010 Ultimate Windows Internet 7
accounting system software DzSoft Perl Editor 5.8.3 Windows 7 Windowsxp
oem iso software Microsoft Office Visio Standart 2007 Autocad Sales In
“Buy cheap software Adobe Acrobat Pro 8 oem” Windows 2008 Datacenter R2 (64 bit) Windows Internet 7
accounting system software Autodesk AutoCAD Mechanical 2009 Windows 7 Windowsxp
oem iso software Autodesk 3Ds Max Design 2009 Autocad Sales In
“Buy cheap software Adobe Acrobat Pro 8 oem” Windows 2008 Enterprise R2 (64 bit) Windows Internet 7
accounting system software ABest Video to WMV SWF FLV Converter Windows 7 Windowsxp
oem iso software Innovative Solutions Advanced Uninstaller Pro 9.5 Autocad Sales In
“Buy cheap software Adobe Acrobat Pro 8 oem” PC Washer 2 Windows Internet 7
accounting system software Steinberg Cubase 4.5 Windows 7 Windowsxp
oem iso software ZoneAlarmŽ Extreme Security 2010 Autocad Sales In
“Buy cheap software Adobe Acrobat Pro 8 oem” Adobe Pagemaker 7 Windows Internet 7
accounting system software Autodesk Revit MEP 2011 Windows 7 Windowsxp
oem iso software ARTS PDF Aerialist Autocad Sales In
“Buy cheap software Adobe Acrobat Pro 8 oem” Norton Internet Security 2008 Windows Internet 7
accounting system software I.R.I.S. Readiris 12 Pro MAC Windows 7 Windowsxp
oem iso software Microsoft Office OneNote 2003 Autocad Sales In
“Buy cheap software Adobe Acrobat Pro 8 oem” Microsoft Office Visio Professional 2003 Windows Internet 7
accounting system software Ashampoo WinOptimizer 4 Windows 7 Windowsxp
oem iso software Autodesk AutoCAD Map 3d 2010 Autocad Sales In
“Buy cheap software Adobe Acrobat Pro 8 oem” ARTS PDF Aerialist Professional Windows Internet 7
accounting system software Ashampoo Uninstaller 3 Windows 7 Windowsxp
oem iso software Autodesk Inventor Publisher 2011 Autocad Sales In
“Buy cheap software Adobe Acrobat Pro 8 oem” McAfee Total Protection 2009 Windows Internet 7
accounting system software Autodesk AutoCAD Electrical 2010 (32 bit) Windows 7 Windowsxp
oem iso software Adobe Creative Suite 4 Design Standard MAC Autocad Sales In
“Buy cheap software Adobe Acrobat Pro 8 oem” Norton Anitvirus 2008 Windows Internet 7
accounting system software Windows XP Home Windows 7 Windowsxp
oem iso software Microsoft AutoRoute 2007 Europe Autocad Sales In
“Buy cheap software Adobe Acrobat Pro 8 oem” Microsoft FrontPage 2003 Windows Internet 7
accounting system software Microsoft Streets & Trips 2010 Windows 7 Windowsxp
oem iso software GFI WebMonitor 10.0 Autocad Sales In
“Buy cheap software Adobe Acrobat Pro 8 oem” Wincare Memory Booster Gold Windows Internet 7
accounting system software Microsoft Windows Vista Ultimate with SP2 (64bit) Windows 7 Windowsxp
oem iso software Futuremark 3DMark ‘03 Pro Autocad Sales In
“Buy cheap software Adobe Acrobat Pro 8 oem” Adobe Audition 2 Windows Internet 7
accounting system software ConceptDraw Office Professional 8 Windows 7 Windowsxp
oem iso software Paragon Hard Disk Manager 2008 Professional Autocad Sales In
“Buy cheap software Adobe Acrobat Pro 8 oem” Acala DVD Ripper Professional 5 Windows Internet 7
accounting system software Nuance PDF Converter Professional 6 Windows 7 Windowsxp
oem iso software Adobe Creative Suite 4 Design Standard Autocad Sales In
“Buy cheap software Adobe Acrobat Pro 8 oem” Adobe Contribute CS4 MAC Windows Internet 7
accounting system software Adobe RoboHelp 8 Windows 7 Windowsxp
oem iso software Steinberg Cubase 4 Autocad Sales In
“Buy cheap software Adobe Acrobat Pro 8 oem” Autodesk Autocad Architecture 2009 Windows Internet 7
accounting system software ABest Video to AppleTV 3GP SWF Converter Windows 7 Windowsxp
oem iso software Microsoft Windows Vista Home Basic with SP2 (32bit) Autocad Sales In
“Buy cheap software Adobe Acrobat Pro 8 oem” GFI LANguard 9.0 Windows Internet 7
accounting system software Intuit TurboTax Premier 2009 Windows 7 Windowsxp
oem iso software Adobe Fireworks CS5 MAC Autocad Sales In
“Buy cheap software Adobe Acrobat Pro 8 oem” Microsoft Streets & Trips 2009 Windows Internet 7
accounting system software ABest AVI Video Converter Windows 7 Windowsxp
oem iso software Microsoft Office Small Busines 2007 Autocad Sales In
“Buy cheap software Adobe Acrobat Pro 8 oem” Adobe Creative Suite 5 Master Collection MAC Windows Internet 7
accounting system software Corel Painter X MAC Windows 7 Windowsxp
oem iso software Microsoft Office Access 2007 Autocad Sales In
“Buy cheap software Adobe Acrobat Pro 8 oem” 4Media DVD Ripper Ultimate 5 Windows Internet 7
accounting system software Adobe Premiere Pro CS5 MAC Windows 7 Windowsxp
oem iso software Ashampoo Movie Shrink And Burn 3 Autocad Sales In
“Buy cheap software Adobe Acrobat Pro 8 oem” Microsoft MapPoint 2010 North America Windows Internet 7
accounting system software CodeGear RAD Studio 2009 Architect Windows 7 Windowsxp
oem iso software Microsoft Office 2007 Enterprise Autocad Sales In
“Buy cheap software Adobe Acrobat Pro 8 oem” Microsoft MapPoint 2009 North America Windows Internet 7
accounting system software Windows 7 Home Premium (32 bit) Windows 7 Windowsxp
oem iso software Adobe Premiere Elements 4 Autocad Sales In
“Buy cheap software Adobe Acrobat Pro 8 oem” CodeGear Delphi For PHP 1.0 Windows Internet 7
accounting system software Adobe Fireworks CS4 MAC Windows 7 Windowsxp
oem iso software Norton PartitionMagic 8.0 Autocad Sales In
“Buy cheap software Adobe Acrobat Pro 8 oem” Acala DVD Creator 3 Windows Internet 7
accounting system software Autodesk 3Ds Max 2008 Windows 7 Windowsxp
oem iso software Autodesk Maya 2009 Unlimited Autocad Sales In
“Buy cheap software Adobe Acrobat Pro 8 oem” Nero 10 Multimedia Suite Windows Internet 7
accounting system software ElcomSoft Advanced Archive Password Recovery 4 Professional Windows 7 Windowsxp
