Hi Dr. Mac!

How do you resolve a conflict when the other party refuses to talk about it? My husband shuts down whenever there is strife between us and it’s driving me crazy.
-Mary Kay

Hi Mary Kay.

-Dr. Mac

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Hello.

I work for a large corporation as a territory sales representative. I have 6 sales associates in the state that execute the events I set up for my clients. The reporting structure is precarious as I have responsibility for the client relationship, account decision, events and how sales associates conduct events, however, the sales associates are not a direct report to me and I am not their boss. They report to a remote manager located in another state.

I am involved in the interview process and have final approval for hiring as I have to determine if any new employee would be a team player and work well with my existing team. We have hired an employee that is turning out to be an excellent sales person, consistent high sales at events but has underlying issues that are disrupting my performance as well as my teams.

My question is how do I protect myself from this employee.

I have elevated the issues I have had with this person to my boss and her direct report. I have been told they are trying to manage her out but it will be a long process and in the meantime I have to treat her as I do the rest of my staff, which is not a problem for me but this employee consistently lies about situations, is calculating and quite volitle when working under pressure.

Here are some situations that have occurred:
*Brought her children to a client event without prior permission
*Has formed an personal relationship directly with my client (know she is working to undermine relationship but can’t prove it at this time)
*Has said I have sent her emails that were inappropriate (she has been asked to provide them, don’t believe she will be able to, as I have not sent any inappropriate emails)
*Said that when we had lunch one day that I told her I wanted to get rid of my entire staff and replace them with people like her (Completely a fabricated lie)
*Has had 3 seperate situations where the client has contacted me because she got in a fight with one of their employees, was rude to a customer, and argued with staff.

I need advice on how to protect myself when communicating, interacting and working with her in my territory. Should I be tape recording all conversations? Moving forward my boss wants me to have limited contact with her….which I agree. But her boss is telling me that I need to treat her the same as my other staff, if I call them, I need to call her but I can not trust that she will not fabricate some lie if the conversation is not witnessed.

-Terry

Hi Terry. Thanks for writing.

-Dr. Mac

Dear Dr. Mac,

What steps should you take if you find yourself in the midst of a conflict? What advice do you have for co-workers who may not be directly part of the conflict but still suffer from the tension it’s caused? What happens if conflict goes to the extreme — with yelling and insults? Is this something that can be managed by HR, or is this situation too big for them to handle?

-Conflicted Casey

Dear Conflicted Casey,

-Dr. Mac