What I didn’t see in your letter was what the issues your boss and coworkers are having with you. You mentioned that you’ve made some mistakes, including one mistake that lead to an informal warning. It sounds like you have contributed to some of these problems you are having, am I right?

You certainly can go to HR for “advice and coaching”. I mention this because you never want to go just with complaints. By asking for guidance, it shows that you want to be part of the solution. Given that, my guess is that they will ask you if you’ve brought your concerns to your supervisor? After all, your boss deserves the opportunity to address your concerns before you go over his head to HR.

So, have you brought your concerns about him and your coworkers to him?

Clearly, improving your relationship with your boss is critical, especially since you already have an “informal” warning on file from him. I suggest that you initiate a conversation with him (maybe even over coffee at a nearby coffee shop just to get away from the work space) where you can do two things:

First, let him know that you’d like to turn things around and improve your ways. In doing so, ask him for any additional feedback/suggestions he has that can help you improve as both an employee and as a coworker. This will show that you are sincere in improving your performance. Take whatever advice he gives you and be sure to work on improving in those areas.

Secondly, tell him what you need more of or less of from him in order to better perform at your job. Let him know why it is important to get the support you need from him. By doing this, you get him to commit to you as well, making your progress more of a partnership. What I would not suggest doing at this point is being critical of his past performance. If that conversation is still important to you to have with him, you’d be better off waiting until you are on more solid ground.

In regards to your coworkers, bring your professionalism and mutual respect to work and stay away from engaging in game-playing, talking behind coworkers’ back, and negative chit-chat. In other words, disengage a little from them socially while always be willing to help and support them on work-related projects. You become less of a target if stay professional and maintain your space from them. Is this something you think you can do?

I would also suggest that you stop whatever behavior that is causing problems for any of your coworkers. You are at a place where you need to improve your relationships in order to get back in good graces at your company. Turn the other cheek if you must, but stay away from office politics and any inappropriate behavior. And yes, I understand that your coworkers are participating in inappropriate behavior, but it is not serving you to get involved with all of that.

Hosanna, write again if you’d like to get into specifics about dealing with your coworkers. But first take care of your primary work relationship, with is with your boss.