Immature coworkers
Dear Dr. Mac:
This question is regarding my fiance’s coworkers. The other day I called his cell phone around lunchtime and a woman picked up the phone. I asked who it was and she said my name and I asked if he was there and she said, “I don’t know, is he?” I was silent and then I heard her and another woman laughing. She said her name and told me that she would have him call me back. He called me back minutes later and told me that it was one of his bosses and another coworker who picked up the phone. In addition to taking the liberty of answering his personal, non-business, phone, they also decided to read through all of his text messages. They then proceeded to “tease” him about some of the text messages they had read.
He works at a bank and these are adults we are talking about. The phone was in their equivalent of a “break room with the rest of his personal items. It was not out in the workplace nor was it distracting him from doing his job. Am I completely out of line in thinking that this was, not only, an immature thing to do, but an obvious invasion of his privacy? Thank you for your help and I appreciate your feedback.
-Whitney
Hi Whitney.
I don’t think you are over-reacting at all. The act was immature and it was an invasion of privacy. Granted, these women were having fun and felt it was harmless, but that doesn’t excuse the behavior.
In this situation, the onus is now on your fiance to establish some boundaries with his coworkers between his personal and professional life. He doesn’t have to go overboard, but the cell phone is a great example here of personal property where a boundary should exist. It may be fun now to play with coworker’s cell phones and tease each other about personal information, but should a work relationship go astray, all that personal information that was once freely exchanged can backfire and be used for hurtful and detrimental reasons. I’m not trying to be an alarmist, but your fiance is better off not even putting himself at risk. There are many ways to have fun at work and connect with colleagues without having to cross that personal line.
-Dr. Mac
