Dealing with a co-worker
Dear Dr. Mac,
I am having problem with one co-worker (person A) in my office. I don’t know how to deal with this issue. In our accounting dept we are a group of 4, one being the supervisor, who told me that in his absence the supervisor of the team will be my co-worker (Person A). “ONLY IN HIS ABSENCE”
I am handling AP/AR. Whenever someone wants to make a check like COD check; the person who wants the check goes to my co-worker (person A) for help. My co-worker (person A) who also works for accounting department, comes and tells me “here, can you please make a check for this company right away, it is a COD (cost on delivery).” I then put all my current work aside and start making the check. The problem is she gives me much of the work she doesn’t want to do, even though she is supposed to be doing it. And it is only me she goes to, not anyone else. Is this because I’m the new person? How do I deal with this issue, should I directly go and talk to Person A and bluntly tell her I am sorry I cannot help her because I am busy doing some thing else? (which I really do not have the guts because I need a job, and have bills to pay) How do I put in a professional way? -Please help
Dear Please Help,
In any newly formed working relationship, there is bound to be some role confusion going on. Consider this to be an opportunity to clarify roles and responsibilities instead of thinking anything bad about having to do this. In a perfect world, your supervisor would have spelled out all the roles and responsibilities right about the time you came in. Usually for new employees, that is a very common thing to do. Given that, it is never too late.
Allow me to first answer your questions, although I may be speculating a bit.
First, I don’t know why it appears you are being “dumped” on. It is best in this case to find out before assuming anything.
Second, if the tables were reversed, would you want your co-worker to come to you first or go to the supervisor? I’m guessing that you’d appreciate having the opportunity to clear something up yourself before someone goes to the supervisor. By going to the supervisor, you would be bypassing your colleague and getting into that “parent-child” dynamic where the kids go to the parents to solve a problem with a sibling instead of trying to solve it first themselves. Hence, you will want to try to address/resolve the problem or misunderstanding yourself with the co-worker in question. It is also the most respectful thing you could do and it demonstrates that you will stand up for yourself and assert yourself if need be. Both good messages to send.
Third, you are better off clearing up the issue of “delegation” in general with your co-worker now instead of waiting for the next incident to occur and then saying something. The danger in waiting is that your emotions could peak and you might say something that you could regret or say it in a way that you might regret.
Finally, go into the conversation with the intent of understanding her intent first before responding. The way to do that is to explain what has been happening, using a real example, and then asking her rationale for why she is passing these requests on to you. After she explains herself, acknowledge what she said and ask if you can suggest another way to handle these. Give your suggestion and explain why it would be helpful to you to do it this way. If that doesn’t lead to an agreement and better understanding, let her know that you’d like to also get the input of the supervisor on this issue. Only do that if it still doesn’t get resolved. Most of the time these kind of discussions are not unusual and quickly lead to mutual resolution.
What we have not answered is your comment about you co-worker being in charge “only in his absence.” Truthfully, if you resolve this and future issues as I indicated, you should not have a problem with your co-worker assuming too much responsibility over you. That will be because you have let it be know through this process that you will stand up for yourself. The key is to always be respectful and diplomatic, no matter what.
-Dr. Mac
