It’s not my problem
Dear Dr. Mac,
What steps should you take if you find yourself in the midst of a conflict? What advice do you have for co-workers who may not be directly part of the conflict but still suffer from the tension it’s caused? What happens if conflict goes to the extreme — with yelling and insults? Is this something that can be managed by HR, or is this situation too big for them to handle?
-Conflicted Casey
Dear Conflicted Casey,
Your question raises a number of points I’d like to make regarding workplace conflict and where responsibility lies:
1) The supervisor/manager of a department has the responsibility to: a) establish a work environment where conflict and disagreements are handled constructively, b) intervene in situations that are not being handled constructively, c) role model effective conflict resolution strategies, and d) know when to seek outside help in cases where he/she need assistance.
2) The conflicting parties have a responsibility to: a) take their concerns directly to each other, first and foremost, b) address their concerns with each other in a respectful and constructive manner, c) not involve their peers unless their peers are directly involved, and d) seek out third party assistance (supervisor or HR or mutually trusted and objective peer) in cases where one or both parties are fearful, uncomfortable, angry or unable to work out a solution or compromise.
3) The work group (peers) also has a responsibility to: a) ensure that conflicting parties talk to each other directly, b) not tolerate destructive conflict on the team, regardless of who is involved, c) establish and abide by norms that reinforce constructive conflict, and d) avoid taking sides unless directly involved.
4) HR’s role is to assess whether or not the manager and the work group have the skill set necessary to manage conflict effectively. If they do, then HR needs to stay out of it. If they don’t, then HR should either step in or contact an outside third party to intervene. HR also should make sure that both the manager and work group get the necessary training/team building to help them develop the skills in the future.
5) As mentioned in the attached article, the performance review process also needs to evaluate the necessary conflict resolution and communication skills so that there is an additional incentive for employees and management to not only practice these skills but to be held accountable to them as well.
Conflict itself isn’t a bad thing; its how the conflict is handled (or not handled) that ultimately determines whether it ends up being a positive or negative experience.
-Dr. Mac
