Copycat
Hi Dr Mac,
I’m 15 and work in an office with a girl who is 21. We have become friends over the three months I have been working with her. The only thing that is starting to bother me is that she copies everything I do.
She started with colouring her hair dark and buying extensions so her hair is now long and dark like mine. Then she bought fake spectacles at a drugstore after commenting on how good I look when I wear my reading glasses. She has bought the same clothes and shoes that I have. The other day when I was in her bedroom I noticed she has bought the same perfume that I wear.
I feel like I have a clone following me around and it’s embarrassing and awkward. I want to be able to be myself but I feel like I can’t because this girl is always copying me and trying to be like me. I don’t know what to do.
Thanks in advance
Astrid
Hi Astrid.
What you want to start doing is acknowledging the unique things about her that make her special. Comment on her dress one day and how the colors bring out her eyes. Tell her how you appreciate the fact that she manages stress so well and how you wish you could be more like that…in other words, by recognizing and reinforcing what she does and has that is different from you, she should begin to appreciate those things in herself a little more and slowly stop trying to emulate you on all fronts.
If this doesn’t work, then you may have to be more direct and bring it up to her. You don’t have to be mean but could say something like, “What I like about you is your uniqueness. Don’t lose that! Sometimes I get the feeling that you are trying to be more like me. That would be weird for me. Be yourself…”
Let me know what happens and we can go from there.
-Dr. Mac
